{"id":10783,"date":"2025-05-28T16:44:27","date_gmt":"2025-05-28T20:44:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/the-day-john-lennon-taught-me-what-matters-most-without-even-knowing-it\/"},"modified":"2025-05-28T16:44:27","modified_gmt":"2025-05-28T20:44:27","slug":"the-day-john-lennon-taught-me-what-matters-most-without-even-knowing-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/the-day-john-lennon-taught-me-what-matters-most-without-even-knowing-it\/","title":{"rendered":"The Day John Lennon Taught Me What Matters Most\u2014Without Even Knowing It"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

\n

I know this is a bold title \u2014 but hear me out. It\u2019s a story about a man you\u2019ve definitely heard of\u2026 but maybe didn\u2019t really know. A man who made one powerful decision before his death \u2014 and it changed the nature of his life and the life of his child.<\/p>\n

Hey Mindvalley family,<\/p>\n

Something has been hitting me hard lately \u2014 in the best, most gut-punching kind of way.<\/p>\n

My son Hayden is turning 18.<\/p>\n

My daughter Eve just finished primary school. High school is next. She still slips her hand into mine when we cross the street \u2014 but I can feel the clock ticking on that too.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve spent years building a company that helps people transform. I\u2019ve stood on stages, meditated with monks, interviewed billionaires and brain scientists\u2026 And yet nothing has brought me face-to-face with the raw, trembling truth of life like this:<\/p>\n

My biggest moments with my kids are happening right now \u2014 and soon, they\u2019ll be gone.<\/p>\n

They won\u2019t leave my heart, of course. But they\u2019ll leave the daily dance of our lives \u2014 the bedtime stories, the inside jokes, the random conversations about Marvel movies and TikTok memes and God knows what else. The ordinary magic that vanishes without warning.<\/p>\n

And I can\u2019t stop thinking about a story I recently heard \u2014 one that stopped me in my tracks.<\/p>\n

It was shared by Warren Farrell, a bestselling author and renowned thinker in men\u2019s work. I\u2019ve never met him personally, but the story he told is one I\u2019ll never forget.<\/p>\n

The story of Warren and John (a true story that happened in the late 1970s)<\/h2>\n

A night at a party, a stranger with a story<\/h3>\n

Warren was attending a party in New York \u2014 a Ms. Magazine<\/em> celebration for its fifth anniversary. He had promised to meet with Gloria Steinem there, and as he entered, he made eye contact with her across the room. She was surrounded by admirers. He wasn\u2019t. But he started working his way toward her.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, a man stepped up and asked,<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you Warren Farrell?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Warren replied, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI joined the men\u2019s group that you started, but you always start the groups and then leave them and go on to something else like the Lone Ranger.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Warren admitted that he was being a bit dismissive at first \u2014 self-aware enough to recognize it \u2014 because he was trying to make his way to Gloria.<\/p>\n

But then the man said:<\/p>\n

\u201cI gave up my job and focused full-time on raising my son because I had previously, you know, neglected a previous son that I had. And I really felt I made a mistake doing that.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

That stopped Warren cold. Now he had Warren\u2019s attention.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Warren then turned fully to him and asked gently,<\/p>\n

\u201cWere you married?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

The man nodded:<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Warren followed up:<\/p>\n

\u201cWas your wife okay with this? Because a lot of women are very supportive about their husbands being more involved with their children, but they\u2019re not very supportive about the husband taking off full time, earning no money, and being involved with children.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

He looked at the man and asked,<\/p>\n

\u201cWere you earning a decent living before?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

To which the man gave a quirkish smile and said:\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThere were two things that were crucial. One was the support of my wife. And the other one was the support of the men\u2019s group.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

At that point, Warren said,<\/p>\n

\u201cNow I\u2019m just forgetting about Gloria. I\u2019m sitting down with him, and for the next hour he tells me about how meaningful his life has become since he\u2019s been raising his son. And how enormous value that\u2019s been. And has been the best decision he\u2019s ever made in his life.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The man told Warren that<\/p>\n

\u201chis soul opened up, and his heart opened up,\u201d<\/strong>
<\/strong> and that he\u2019d had a lot of issues with his own father \u2014
\u201cand those seemed to be healing in a way that he had never healed before.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Warren sat there, no longer a speaker, no longer a feminist leader, no longer trying to meet anyone at the party. He was just a man being spoken to by another man, sharing something real<\/em> \u2014 something rarely voiced in that era.<\/p>\n

About an hour into the conversation, someone approached their table.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I have your autograph?\u201d<\/em> the young man asked.<\/p>\n

Warren looked up, mildly surprised.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah sure, just one second,\u201d<\/em> he replied, excusing himself to handle the request.<\/p>\n

But he noticed something odd. The young man was looking at him awkwardly.<\/p>\n

Warren paused and said,<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay\u2026 something\u2019s happening here.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The man shifted uncomfortably and said:<\/p>\n

\u201cWell actually, I do really want your autograph\u2026 but I really was actually asking for the other guy\u2019s autograph.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Warren turned to the man he\u2019d been speaking to, now feeling a rising curiosity.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026 what\u2019s your name? You must be fairly well known.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

The man replied:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m John.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Warren:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Warren, you know that. Well John who?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

He said,<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn Lennon.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let that sink in.<\/p>\n

Warren had just spent an hour ignoring Gloria Steinem to have a heart-to-heart with the most famous musician on the planet\u2026 and didn\u2019t even realize it. Warren admitted he hadn\u2019t owned a TV in over 20 years and wasn\u2019t up to date with popular culture.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the part that gets me \u2014 the part that hits me like Hayden\u2019s birthday and Eve\u2019s graduation rolled into one:<\/p>\n

Even at the height of his fame, the thing John Lennon wanted to talk about wasn\u2019t music or money or global peace. It was fatherhood.<\/p>\n

The greatest decision of his life, he said, was stepping away from it all to raise his son.<\/p>\n

Now, consider this.<\/p>\n

John Lennon\u2019s first son, Julian, was born in 1963 \u2014 at the height of Beatlemania. John was 23 and largely absent due to the storm of fame.<\/p>\n

But his second son, Sean, was born in 1975.<\/p>\n

John left the music industry entirely for five years \u2014 from 1975 until his assassination on December 8, 1980 \u2014 to raise Sean full-time. He called himself a \u201chouse husband.\u201d He baked bread. He changed diapers. He walked his son to school.<\/p>\n

He gave those five years everything.<\/p>\n

And then, just as suddenly as he appeared to Warren, he was gone.<\/p>\n

Five short years of presence.<\/p>\n

But five years that John Lennon himself called the most meaningful of his life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My personal reflection<\/h2>\n

As I reflect on this story\u2026 as I look at my son on the edge of adulthood and my daughter stepping into her next chapter, I find myself asking:<\/p>\n

Am I giving them my presence, not just my protection?<\/em>
<\/em>Am I showing up for their souls, not just their schedules?<\/em>
<\/em>Am I willing to pause the world\u2026 to be with them, fully?<\/em><\/p>\n

Because in the end, legacy isn\u2019t what you leave behind<\/em>.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what you leave <\/strong>within<\/em><\/strong> the people who loved you most.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And maybe, just maybe, the quiet choice to be a better father is the loudest message we\u2019ll ever send the world.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s the point<\/h3>\n

If you\u2019re a parent, stop reading this for a second.<\/p>\n

Go hug your kid. Even if they\u2019re annoyed. Even if they roll their eyes.<\/p>\n

One day, that moment might be the memory that holds them together.<\/p>\n

Because in the end, the biggest legacy we leave isn\u2019t the company we built, the followers we gained, or the awards we won\u2026<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the invisible, soul-sized mark we leave on our children\u2019s hearts.<\/p>\n

John Lennon knew it.<\/p>\n

Warren Farrell witnessed it.<\/p>\n

And now, I\u2019m walking that path too.<\/p>\n

Are you?<\/p>\n

PS \u2013 Read the lyrics<\/a> for the song John Lennon wrote to his son Julian in 1980 shortly before he died. (Poetically, the song ends with a quote from \u00c9mile Cou\u00e9 and Jos\u00e9 Silva.)<\/p>\n

Before you cross the street<\/em><\/p>\n

Take my hand<\/em><\/p>\n

Life is what happens to you while you\u2019re busy making other plans<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2026Beautiful boy<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2026Before you go to sleep<\/em><\/p>\n

Say a little prayer<\/em><\/p>\n

Every day in every way, it\u2019s getting better and better.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Share your reflections<\/h4>\n

I\u2019d love to hear how this story and these insights resonate with you. Leave me a comment below \u2014 I read every single one.<\/p>\n

To your extraordinary life,<\/p>\n

\u2014 Vishen<\/p>\n

\"Vishen<\/figure>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

Featured image credits: John Lennon, Yoko Ono and Sean Lennon at the Dakota building, NYC. December 12, 1975. Image #: C-06 \u00a9 Bob Gruen<\/a><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Profit<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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