{"id":11754,"date":"2025-10-21T19:14:11","date_gmt":"2025-10-21T23:14:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/i-didnt-have-stage-fright-i-had-social-fright\/"},"modified":"2025-10-21T19:14:11","modified_gmt":"2025-10-21T23:14:11","slug":"i-didnt-have-stage-fright-i-had-social-fright","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/i-didnt-have-stage-fright-i-had-social-fright\/","title":{"rendered":"I Didn\u2019t Have Stage Fright. I Had Social Fright."},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Ten years ago, in May of 2015, I posted a short video on Facebook.<\/p>\n<p>It looked like an innocent little clip\u2014me standing outside Steve Jobs\u2019 house, talking to my son:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey Hayden, check it out. This is where Steve Jobs lived\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But here\u2019s the truth.<\/p>\n<p>That video wasn\u2019t really for Hayden. It was for <em>you<\/em>.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1999\" height=\"1187\" alt=\"Vishen video\" class=\"wp-image-78492\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video.webp 1999w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video-768x456.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video-1536x912.webp 1536w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 1999px) 100vw, 1999px\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video.webp\"\/><noscript><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1999\" height=\"1187\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video.webp\" alt=\"Vishen video\" class=\"wp-image-78492\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video.webp 1999w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video-768x456.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/a39f60b2-vishen-video-1536x912.webp 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1999px) 100vw, 1999px\"\/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n<p>I desperately wanted to speak to the world\u2014to share ideas, reflections, and meaning\u2014but I was terrified of being judged.<\/p>\n<p>So I hid behind the line: <em>\u201cHey Hayden, check this out.\u201d<\/em><em><br \/><\/em>It was my psychological armor.<\/p>\n<p>By pretending I was just talking to my kid, I could trick myself into speaking without the fear of criticism. I could tell myself, \u201cNo one\u2019s judging me. I\u2019m just being a dad sharing something cool.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But the truth is\u2014I was being a coward.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-moment-of-fear\">The moment of fear<\/h2>\n<p>If you watch that old video, something interesting happens.<\/p>\n<p>Within the first ten seconds, I look awkward. My body tenses up.<\/p>\n<p>A friend was holding the camera, and I couldn\u2019t take it.<\/p>\n<p>I snatched the camera from him and turned it toward Steve Jobs\u2019 house\u2014so the focus was no longer on me.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn\u2019t even bear to be <em>seen<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/watch\/?v=10105192956969423\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Watch the 58-second video here on Facebook<\/a> and note how awkward I look.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t stage fright. It was <strong>social fright<\/strong>\u2014the fear of being judged, of being misunderstood, of being laughed at.<\/p>\n<p>And it\u2019s funny, because I had spoken on stage before.<\/p>\n<p>But the camera, that silent lens staring back at you\u2014it felt like the whole world watching, waiting to comment.<\/p>\n<p>That terrified me.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-hidden-truth-about-speaking\">The hidden truth about speaking<\/h2>\n<p>People think speaking is about mastering body language, pacing, and storytelling.<br \/>But the real battle isn\u2019t technical\u2014it\u2019s <em>emotional<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the quiet, invisible panic that asks:\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u201cWho am I to say this?\u201d<\/em><em><br \/><\/em><em> \u201cWhat if they think I sound stupid?\u201d<\/em><em><br \/><\/em><em> \u201cWhat if no one cares?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what stops most people from ever hitting <em>record<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>And here\u2019s the irony: we live in a world that rewards voices, not perfection.<\/p>\n<p>The world doesn\u2019t need more polished speakers. It needs more <em>honest ones.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-shift\">The shift<\/h2>\n<p>Over the years, I learned something liberating: the only way to kill social fright is to stop performing and start <em>expressing.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>When you speak from your truth\u2014when your words come from your own lived experience\u2014people can\u2019t really criticize you.<br \/>They can disagree, but they can\u2019t deny your authenticity.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why I now introduce you to the <strong>Mindvalley Speaking Academy<\/strong> by Eric Edmeades\u2014this is about how to build authority not through confidence, but through <em>realness<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Because authority isn\u2019t about being louder. It\u2019s about being more <em>you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>When I look back at that video today, I smile.<br \/>It\u2019s awkward. It\u2019s unpolished. But it\u2019s also sacred.<\/p>\n<p>Because that was the moment I stopped hiding behind <em>\u201cHey Hayden\u2026\u201d<br \/><\/em>and started saying,<em> \u201cHey world\u2014this is me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>People think great speakers are born confident. They\u2019re not.<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019re just people who\u2019ve learned to stop <em>performing<\/em> and start <em>expressing.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>When you speak from your truth, your lived experience, your real story\u2014you become bulletproof.<\/p>\n<p>People can disagree, but they can\u2019t discredit authenticity.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned over the years: The power of your voice isn\u2019t about being louder.<br \/>It\u2019s about being <em>realer.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-an-invitation-to-find-your-voice\">An invitation to find your voice<\/h2>\n<p>If this resonates with you\u2014if you\u2019ve ever felt that same hesitation before hitting record, or worried what people might think\u2014I want to invite you to something special.<\/p>\n<p>This <strong>Thursday<\/strong>, I\u2019ll be live with <strong>Eric Edmeades<\/strong>, the man who trained many of Mindvalley\u2019s top speakers (and yes, he\u2019s coached me too).<\/p>\n<p>Eric is the lead trainer for <strong>Mindvalley Speaking Academy<\/strong>, a five-day, small-group immersion happening soon in <strong>Miami<\/strong>\u2014limited to just <strong>50 participants<\/strong>.<br \/>Tickets are <strong>$10,000 as it\u2019s highly personal<\/strong>, and it\u2019s one of the most transformative programs we\u2019ve ever created.<\/p>\n<p>But this week\u2019s <strong><em>free masterclass<\/em><\/strong> is your chance to get a <em>glimpse<\/em> of that training\u2014and real, actionable tools to start unlocking your voice immediately.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/summit\/speak\/live?utm_source=blog_oct21_vlnl&amp;utm_campaign=launch_SAM_oct_2025&amp;utm_content=content_speakingAcademy&amp;utm_medium=lp&amp;otag=blog_oct21_vlnl&amp;otag=launch_SAM_oct_2025\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\" noreferrer noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" alt=\"Mindvalley Speaking Academy 2025\" class=\"wp-image-78493\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025.webp 1920w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025-768x432.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025-1536x864.webp 1536w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025.webp\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025.webp\" alt=\"Mindvalley Speaking Academy 2025\" class=\"wp-image-78493\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025.webp 1920w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025-768x432.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/10\/610c10fd-mindvalley-speaking-academy-2025-1536x864.webp 1536w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><\/figure>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/summit\/speak\/live?utm_source=blog_oct21_vlnl&amp;utm_campaign=launch_SAM_oct_2025&amp;utm_content=content_speakingAcademy&amp;utm_medium=lp&amp;otag=blog_oct21_vlnl&amp;otag=launch_SAM_oct_2025\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Claim your FREE spot<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>For the first 45 minutes, Eric will teach some of his most powerful frameworks for confident, persuasive speaking.<\/p>\n<p>Then, for the final segment, we\u2019ll discuss what happens inside the Speaking Academy\u2014and how it can help you demolish fear, sharpen your story, and own any stage.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The last 45 minutes are for those of you who want to join me and Eric in Miami. (I won\u2019t be teaching it; Eric will be. But my son is enrolled in it, so I\u2019ll be stopping by to mingle and hang with the attending students.)<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-this-matters\">Why this matters<\/h2>\n<p>I\u2019ve sent Mindvalley\u2019s top authors, executives, and even close friends to train with Eric.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Every single one of them came back transformed\u2014not just as speakers, but as <em>leaders.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve ever dreamed of being on stage, of speaking your truth without fear, of turning your message into something that moves people\u2014this masterclass is for you.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/summit\/speak\/live?utm_source=blog_oct21_vlnl&amp;utm_campaign=launch_SAM_oct_2025&amp;utm_content=content_speakingAcademy&amp;utm_medium=lp&amp;otag=blog_oct21_vlnl&amp;otag=launch_SAM_oct_2025\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Join us live this Thu, Oct 23.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>(Only 29 spots left for the in-person Speaking Academy in Miami\u2014this session will show you exactly what it\u2019s about.)<br \/><\/em><br \/>Because the world doesn\u2019t need more perfect speakers.<\/p>\n<p>It needs <em>you<\/em>\u2014unfiltered, unafraid, and unapologetically seen.<\/p>\n<p>See you Thursday,<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2014 Vishen<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>P.S.<\/strong> I\u2019d love to hear from you\u2014what\u2019s one message you\u2019d love to one day share with the world? Head over to the blog version of this newsletter and<strong> leave a comment<\/strong>. I read every single one.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"200\" alt=\"Vishen Lakhiani signature\" class=\"wp-image-76162\" style=\"width:280px\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/12\/99dc1d9d-vishen_signature.webp\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"200\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/12\/99dc1d9d-vishen_signature.webp\" alt=\"Vishen Lakhiani signature\" class=\"wp-image-76162\" style=\"width:280px\"\/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ten years ago, in May of 2015, I posted a short video on Facebook. It looked like an innocent little clip\u2014me standing outside Steve Jobs\u2019 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11755,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11754","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happiness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11754","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11754"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11754\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11755"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}