{"id":5049,"date":"2023-11-18T18:05:27","date_gmt":"2023-11-18T22:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/why-its-not-helpful-to-call-someone-including-ourselves-lazy\/"},"modified":"2023-11-18T18:05:27","modified_gmt":"2023-11-18T22:05:27","slug":"why-its-not-helpful-to-call-someone-including-ourselves-lazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/why-its-not-helpful-to-call-someone-including-ourselves-lazy\/","title":{"rendered":"Why It\u2019s Not Helpful to Call Someone\u2014Including Ourselves\u2014\u201cLazy\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

\n

In talking to people about happiness and good habits, people sometimes talk about \u201claziness.\u201d Either they say, \u201cI\u2019m lazy\u201d or they say, \u201cThat person is being lazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

But I think it\u2019s unhelpful to think about \u201claziness.\u201d<\/p>\n

It seems to me that when people (including ourselves) appear lazy, there are more helpful explanations. In my observation, other things may be going on:<\/p>\n

Avoidance<\/strong>: There\u2019s something that a person should do, but they\u2019re avoiding it. This person should work, but is avoiding doing tough analysis, so is spending hours watching Game of Thrones<\/em> clips on YouTube. That person should go to therapy, but doesn\u2019t want to face negative feelings, so keeps canceling appointments.<\/p>\n

Accountability<\/strong>: In my \u201cFour Tendencies\u201d personality framework<\/a>, Obligers are people who need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. If they want to exercise, they need to sign up for a class, work out with a trainer, raise money for a charity, be a role model for someone else, etc. (Effective accountability strategies<\/a> vary among Obligers.) If Obligers lack outer accountability, they won\u2019t follow through. This can look like laziness, but as soon as accountability is established, Obligers do follow through.<\/p>\n

(Want to know if you\u2019re an Obliger? Or a Questioner, Rebel, or Upholder? Take the free short quiz here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Exhaustion: <\/strong>Sometimes people get drained and overwhelmed, and they simply can\u2019t muster up the energy to do anything\u2014not even something small, not even something fun. So they just do whatever activity that feels least taxing to them\u2014for instance, scroll through social media, watch TV, or play a video-game.<\/p>\n

Preference<\/strong>: One person\u2019s laziness is another person\u2019s choice. A friend said of his son, \u201cHe\u2019s so lazy. He could be out playing basketball with his friends, but instead, he lies on the sofa, just reading.\u201d I also imagine another parent saying of a child, \u201cHe\u2019s so lazy. He could be reading and improving his mind, and instead, he\u2019s just running around with his friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

As always, when we face a happiness stumbling block, it\u2019s useful to identify the problem. If you\u2019re calling yourself \u201clazy,\u201d what\u2019s going on?<\/p>\n

Do you need to find a way to get started, to get accountability, or to get more rest? Or is that \u201claziness\u201d actually a sign that two people have different values?<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve called yourself lazy, or find yourself saying that other people are being lazy, I\u2019d be curious to know the context.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Profit<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In talking to people about happiness and good habits, people sometimes talk about \u201claziness.\u201d Either they say, \u201cI\u2019m lazy\u201d or they say, \u201cThat person is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5050,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-habits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5049"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5049\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5050"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}