{"id":7491,"date":"2024-05-12T16:26:08","date_gmt":"2024-05-12T20:26:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-help-an-unhealthy-spouse\/"},"modified":"2024-05-12T16:26:08","modified_gmt":"2024-05-12T20:26:08","slug":"how-to-help-an-unhealthy-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-help-an-unhealthy-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help An Unhealthy Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

\n

A client told me\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cCraig, I\u2019ve been trying to convince my husband to take his health seriously. Nothing I\u2019ve said has gotten through to him.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

My reply:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Regarding hubby\u2019s health\u2026<\/p>\n

If we look at the problem with my \u201cdiscipline through subtraction\u201d approach\u2026<\/p>\n

What are the 3 biggest health sins he\u2019s committing against his body?<\/p>\n

Start there\u2026 cutting back or eliminating, and then not worry about the 100 other things he could do to improve.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Just remove the things that have the greatest catastrophic consequences.<\/strong><\/p>\n

One other thing\u2026 he needs to do an exec physical like the one I just did\u2026 It\u2019s a comprehensive series of tests that will wake him up if there\u2019s anything to worry about. Plus, it\u2019s a great reference to review over time\u2026 Same reason I get bloodwork done every 6 months.<\/p>\n

Her reply:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to talk to him today.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m also going to pray at church first because he\u2019s in such a bad place with this right now and sometimes these conversations don\u2019t go well.<\/p>\n

I found an exec physical. I\u2019m going to have my assistant call tomorrow and get the info.<\/p>\n

Right now, he refuses to go to the doc at all because according to him,<\/p>\n

\u201cThey just tell me I\u2019m fat and my cholesterol is high and that I need meds and I don\u2019t want to take meds.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then I ask him what our next steps are, and he shuts down. So here we are.<\/p>\n

My Jedi Mind Trick reply:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Something I have learned from dealing with people who have problems but are not acting on them\u2026<\/p>\n

Is that you must spend a lot of time asking other questions, generally about emotions, before you start asking rational questions about \u201cWhat they plan to do\u201d<\/p>\n

They must get all the emotions out first.<\/p>\n

For example, if an overweight man is doing nothing about his health, and doesn\u2019t want to go to the doctor because the doctor will just \u201ctell me I\u2019m fat\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n

When he says that line, we must ask \u201chow or what\u201d questions (use \u201cWhy\u201d if you have to, but try to avoid it and stick with \u201chow or what\u201d questions):<\/p>\n

For example,<\/p>\n

\u201cHow would that make you feel when the doctor says that?\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d reply with some emotion-based response.<\/p>\n

So you follow-up with:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would you want the doctor to say instead?\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d reply with something.<\/p>\n

So you say:<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you think we can get the doctor to say that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Your husband might then reply with a plan.<\/p>\n

You might need one or two more questions, but eventually most people come up with a plan on their own.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s the \u201cJedi secret\u201d\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

When it\u2019s\u00a0their idea, they tend to be more open to doing it, and following through on it.<\/p>\n

Now, it\u2019s your turn\u2026 Who in your life can you use this question process with? Is this something you can reflect on to make changes in YOUR life? <\/p>\n

Let me know if I can help! <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Profit<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A client told me\u2026 \u201cCraig, I\u2019ve been trying to convince my husband to take his health seriously. Nothing I\u2019ve said has gotten through to him.\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7492,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7491"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7491\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7492"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}