{"id":9235,"date":"2024-11-01T06:53:34","date_gmt":"2024-11-01T10:53:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-find-and-define-your-family-core-values\/"},"modified":"2024-11-01T06:53:34","modified_gmt":"2024-11-01T10:53:34","slug":"how-to-find-and-define-your-family-core-values","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-find-and-define-your-family-core-values\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Find and Define Your Family Core Values"},"content":{"rendered":"

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In today’s fast-paced world, where distractions are endless and time is fleeting, finding and defining your family’s core values can feel daunting. Yet, understanding and embracing these guiding principles are essential for fostering unity, resilience, and purpose within the family unit.<\/p>\n

As adults, you may be familiar with the idea of\u00a0personal core values<\/a>\u00a0or company core values<\/a>. The idea is the same.<\/p>\n

The values our parents taught us as children are called family core values, and whether we realized it or not at the time, they influenced the person we\u2019d grow up to be.<\/p>\n

Typically, starting in the teenage years, kids begin to question their parents. They may disagree with or ignore some of the family core values they are trying to impart to them.<\/p>\n

Younger children, however, are not often capable of making that distinction or exercising free will\u2026 so what their parents teach them is usually considered law.<\/p>\n

House rules<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

Differences aside, values are the glue that holds a family and society together\u2026 and often serve as a moral compass when it comes to decision-making, emotional ties, and behavior.<\/p>\n

Now that you are a parent, you have the massive responsibility of establishing family core values for your kids. This means that you are tasked with not only leading by example but also teaching them how to think for themselves and behave appropriately in all kinds of social settings.<\/p>\n

So, how do you go about establishing and defining these family values?<\/strong><\/p>\n

In this article, I will outline a five-step process to get the ball rolling. Then, I will give you some simple examples of family core values<\/strong>. (I encourage you to make your own.)<\/p>\n

Step #1: Sit Down With Your Partner And A Notebook<\/h2>\n

When contemplating marriage, your partner\u2019s core values likely played a huge part in the decision.\u00a0<\/p>\n

After all, if you didn\u2019t share similar beliefs, passions, or goals\u2026 it\u2019s unlikely you would have gotten as far as you did in the relationship.<\/p>\n

On our first date, my husband and I discussed many of these things\u2026 While that may seem \u201cheavy\u201d or unusual, we were already in our thirties, and both knew we were ready to find someone to settle down and have children with.<\/p>\n

We weren\u2019t there to play games\u2026 dating was for mating.<\/p>\n

And once our first child came, another conversation about our\u00a0family’s core values<\/strong> needed to happen.<\/p>\n

You also need to take a good look at yourselves and see what you could possibly do better\u2026 or change about your own lives.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Your children will emulate your actions.<\/p>\n

For instance, if you work long hours and miss out on many things, you might want to find a way to carve out more family time.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Family Core Value Goal: Togetherness<\/strong><\/p>\n

As another example, if you tend to spend money on extravagant things\u2026 perhaps you should incorporate volunteering or charitable donations into your family’s core values. (Check out this list of great songs about family love.<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Family Core Value Goal: Selflessness<\/strong><\/p>\n

You and your spouse promised to be there in good times and bad\u2026 for better or worse. You are best friends, which means you should be able to be honest with one another about making changes for the better<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Step #2: Adapting Core Values to Match Your Family<\/h2>\n

Family values are not etched in stone.<\/p>\n

As families grow, kids age, and the world changes, family principles may change. Families need to review and adapt their values periodically, whether it’s an egalitarian approach to decision-making, fostering resilience, or ensuring personal growth through life experiences.<\/p>\n

This adaptability allows families to navigate modern life’s complexities better, accommodating diverse dynamics and influences from generation to generation.<\/p>\n

How can you create your personalized list of core family values?<\/strong><\/p>\n

My suggestion is to start with your kids. Get them invested, and the process will become easier.<\/p>\n

One night, propose a small challenge to your kids at the dinner table. You can even call it a family homework assignment.<\/p>\n

Give them a few days, or even a week, to create a list of their personal strengths<\/a> and weaknesses. Let them know it will be discussed later.<\/p>\n

If you have younger children (under age six or so), you may need to help them with this. It can be done by simply asking them some questions. Things like:<\/p>\n

If you haven\u2019t done so already, grab a notebook and sit down with your partner<\/a> to discuss the kind of children you want to raise.<\/p>\n