{"id":9468,"date":"2024-11-28T07:35:04","date_gmt":"2024-11-28T11:35:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-turn-acquaintances-into-friends\/"},"modified":"2024-11-28T07:35:04","modified_gmt":"2024-11-28T11:35:04","slug":"how-to-turn-acquaintances-into-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-turn-acquaintances-into-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Turn Acquaintances into Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
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Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree: close relationships are a key\u2014maybe the key\u2014to a happy life.<\/p>\n

As part of our circle of associations, we have friends<\/em>, and we also have friendly acquaintances<\/em>.<\/p>\n

With friends, we have close, long-term bonds; we can confide; we feel like we belong; we give and receive support; we trust.<\/p>\n

With acquaintances, we may enjoy seeing them very much, but our relationship never progresses past the particular situation or moment that brings us together. To be clear, that kind of relationship is hugely valuable, but it\u2019s not the same as having a friend.<\/p>\n

When we\u2019re younger, our networks tend to grow, but when we get older, our networks may shrink, so it\u2019s important to continue to cultivate friendships.<\/p>\n

However, it can be hard to make a new friend, especially as an adult.<\/p>\n

We can also misjudge the nature of relationship\u2014for example, we might consider someone a \u201cfriend,\u201d but in fact, we\u2019re just friendly acquaintances\u2014which means that the relationship will dissolve when, for instance, we no longer work together or when our children leave for college.<\/p>\n

To turn a friendly acquaintance into a friend, consider following these steps.<\/p>\n

Note, too, that if you haven\u2019t taken at least a few of these steps, you probably have an \u201cacquaintance\u201d relationship with someone, not a friendship. (Again: acquaintance relationships are very valuable! It\u2019s just useful to distinguish the difference.)<\/p>\n

Steps to consider:<\/p>\n

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  1. Plan an activity together that\u2019s unrelated to why you know each other\u2014co-workers go to a concert.<\/li>\n
  2. Invite them into your home or to a social gathering.<\/li>\n
  3. Socialize together with your spouses or sweethearts.<\/li>\n
  4. Ask for a favor.<\/li>\n
  5. Confide a secret. Trust is an important marker for friendship.<\/li>\n
  6. Make a thoughtful gesture on their birthday or important milestone. This shows you\u2019re paying attention and care about what\u2019s going on in their life. Along the same lines\u2026<\/li>\n
  7. Remember important details about their life and follow up about ongoing issues.<\/li>\n
  8. Start a group with them around a shared interest or regular activity. It\u2019s easier to see someone consistently in a group, and consistency is important for friendship.<\/li>\n
  9. Give them a nickname or title.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  10. Show or tell that you consider someone a \u201cfriend.\u201d We tend to like people more when we know we like them!<\/li>\n
  11. Start an inside joke. Sharing special moments or callbacks can help build a feeling of intimacy.<\/li>\n
  12. If possible, don\u2019t rely on social media to stay connected. Technology can provide useful tools to help you stay up to date, but generally they aren\u2019t replacements for spending time together in person.<\/li>\n
  13. Take advantage of the \u201ctriadic closure\u201d phenomenon\u2013it\u2019s often easier to befriend the friends of our existing friends. So if you have a friend in common, make an effort to get to know that person better too.<\/li>\n
  14. Send a text about something unrelated to the context in which you know this person.<\/li>\n
  15. Send this person a direct text separate from a group text.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    During our discussion on the Happier<\/em> podcast, Elizabeth and I asked listeners for their suggestions, and here are some additional ideas:<\/p>\n