{"id":10132,"date":"2025-02-25T14:42:41","date_gmt":"2025-02-25T18:42:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/3-reasons-to-give-up-your-new-years-resolution\/"},"modified":"2025-02-25T14:42:41","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T18:42:41","slug":"3-reasons-to-give-up-your-new-years-resolution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/3-reasons-to-give-up-your-new-years-resolution\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Reasons to Give Up Your New Year\u2019s Resolution"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

\n

Every year, millions of people set New Year\u2019s resolutions with great hopes, and every year, most of those resolutions get abandoned\u2013quickly. There\u2019s even a discouraging name for it: Quitter\u2019s Day, the second Friday in January.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sound uncomfortably familiar? If so, here\u2019s a surprising (and perhaps comforting) suggestion: Maybe you should <\/em>give up your resolution. Not because you\u2019re lazy, unmotivated, or incapable, but because the resolution you\u2019ve set might not be the right one for you.<\/em><\/p>\n

To stick to a resolution, we need to set ourselves up for success, which requires that we understand who we are<\/em> and what we want to accomplish<\/em>. It\u2019s all too easy to set a resolution that sounds good, but doesn\u2019t suit ourselves and our aims.<\/p>\n

Consider these signs that your resolution might not be right for you:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0<\/span>You picked a resolution you think you should<\/em> do\u2013not one you want<\/em> to do<\/b><\/p>\n

Research suggests that when we have conflicting goals, we don\u2019t manage ourselves well. Clarity eliminates ambiguity and internal conflict, making it easier to follow through. Ask yourself, Do I actually care about this, or do I just think I should? <\/em>If your habit isn\u2019t something you\u2019re truly committed to changing, consider re-framing it to better align with your identity\u2026or dropping it altogether.<\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019ve resolved to start exercising because your family tells you to exercise. Maybe you\u2019ve resolved to learn to play bridge because your friend wants to learn and play (even though, like me, you don\u2019t really enjoy playing games). These kinds of resolutions are very hard to keep.<\/p>\n

2. Your aim isn\u2019t clear\u2013you\u2019re missing your \u201cwhy\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

To make sustained progress on a resolution, it helps to understand why<\/em> you\u2019re working toward it in the first place. If you\u2019ve resolved to \u201cConnect more with friends,\u201d do you want time for deeper conversations? Opportunities to explore a shared interest? Do you want to make new friends or get back in touch with old friends? Your resolutions would look very different, depending on your answer.<\/p>\n

In other words, identify the problem<\/a>.<\/p>\n

3. Your aim is too big or too vague<\/b><\/p>\n

A resolution like \u201cRead more\u201d or \u201cGet organized\u201d is hard to measure, which makes it hard to identify progress and build momentum. Phrase your resolution with as much specificity as possible, such as \u201cRead for 25 minutes a day\u201d or \u201cDeclutter one closet each weekend.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

A resolution such as \u201cLearn Italian\u201d is too big. Find a way to articulate an aim that\u2019s more attainable, such as \u201cLearn enough Italian so that I can have a basic conversation with a stranger.\u201d Once you\u2019ve achieved that resolution, you can raise the bar.<\/p>\n

Rather than forcing yourself to stick with a resolution that doesn\u2019t fit\u2013or feeling guilty about failing it\u2013give yourself permission to let it go.<\/p>\n

Instead, focus your energy on setting aims that are actually sustainable. Here\u2019s how:<\/p>\n

Know yourself.<\/strong> Understanding how you work best<\/a> is key. Do you need external accountability? (So many people do!) Do you prefer small steps or big, intense efforts? Are you someone like me, who\u2013perhaps counter-intuitively\u2013finds it easy to keep a resolution every day<\/em> rather than some days<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Get specific.<\/strong> Define clear steps: \u201cConnect with one friend a day\u201d is easier to track than \u201cGet better about staying in touch.\u201d Also, resist the temptation to set super-ambitious aims; instead, be realistic about what you\u2019re asking of yourself. As Napoleon observed, \u201cTo impose excessively harsh conditions on someone [including yourself] is to exempt them from fulfilling them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Expect and plan for missteps.<\/strong> A stumble isn\u2019t a failure\u2013we\u2019re all human. If something isn\u2019t working, adjust and move forward instead of quitting completely. Research shows that people who show compassion for themselves when they mess up are more likely to try again with a resolution than are people who are very harsh on themselves.<\/p>\n

Use \u201cif-then\u201d planning and the Strategy of Safeguards<\/a> to help you deal with challenging situations.<\/p>\n

I often recall the words of one of my favorite proverbs: \u201cA stumble may prevent a fall.\u201d<\/p>\n

I love to use the calendar as a catalyst for reflection. (If you want to see my Calendar of Catalysts, with dates such as Halfway Day and March Forth, it\u2019s here<\/a>).<\/p>\n

In 2022, I created Determination Day on February 28, as a date to remind us to reflect on our aims.<\/p>\n

If your New Year\u2019s resolution isn\u2019t working, February 28 is a time to change it, replace it, or even let it go in favor of an aim that\u2019s truly right for you.<\/p>\n

Need help figuring out your next step? Take the \u201cHabits for Happiness\u201d Quiz<\/a> to get a personalized<\/em> answer to the question, \u201cWhat habit should I tackle to give me the biggest happiness boost?\u201d<\/p>\n

Remember, there\u2019s no one right way to build a habit\u2013only the way that\u2019s right for you<\/em>. It\u2019s one of my Secrets of Adulthood: \u201cThe bird, the bee, and the bat all fly, but they use different wings.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Profit<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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