{"id":12777,"date":"2026-04-15T22:10:56","date_gmt":"2026-04-16T02:10:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/the-one-question-that-changed-my-body-my-business-my-entire-reality\/"},"modified":"2026-04-15T22:10:56","modified_gmt":"2026-04-16T02:10:56","slug":"the-one-question-that-changed-my-body-my-business-my-entire-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/the-one-question-that-changed-my-body-my-business-my-entire-reality\/","title":{"rendered":"The One Question That Changed My Body, My Business & My Entire Reality"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

\n

January 14th, 2016. My 40th birthday.<\/p>\n

I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror in my house in Kuala Lumpur, and the man looking back at me had failed every single health goal he\u2019d ever set. Chubby. Couldn\u2019t run a mile without wheezing. My friends called it \u201cdad bod.\u201d I called it something a lot less polite.<\/p>\n

I had a Mars bar stashed in my desk drawer. Two Starbucks lattes a day, each one loaded with sugar. I had acne at forty. I was soft in places I didn\u2019t want to be soft.<\/p>\n

That morning, something in me shifted. Not the kind of dramatic lightning-bolt moment you read about in self-help books. More like the quiet click of a lock turning open. Instead of making another resolution, instead of writing another goal in another leather notebook that would end up collecting dust \u2014 I asked myself one question.<\/p>\n

Not an affirmation. Not a visualization. One question.<\/p>\n

Six months later, my body fat dropped from 22% to 14%. I packed on seven pounds of pure muscle. My chest expanded so much I had to throw out half my shirts. People I hadn\u2019t seen in a while thought I\u2019d had work done on my face.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s the part that still gets me: I didn\u2019t even fully understand why<\/em> it was working. I just kept asking the question.<\/p>\n

The lie we\u2019ve all been told about affirmations<\/h2>\n

Let me ask you something honest.<\/p>\n

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and declared: \u201cI am healthy. I am abundant. I am worthy of love\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 and felt a small, traitorous voice somewhere in your chest whisper back: \u2026are you though?<\/em><\/p>\n

That voice is not a weakness. That voice is your subconscious mind, the most sophisticated data-processing system ever created, calling you out. It processes roughly 20 million bits of information per second. Your conscious mind handles about 40. So when you stand there making a declaration your subconscious knows isn\u2019t true yet, it doesn\u2019t get inspired. It rebels.<\/p>\n

Jose Silva, the founder of the Silva Method<\/a>, one of the most respected mind-science pioneers who ever lived, understood this as early as the 1980s. After researching millions of people, he made a stunning pronouncement: affirmations don\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

His reasoning was simple. If you tell yourself, \u201cI only eat healthy foods,\u201d<\/em> there is a voice in the back of your head that fires up immediately: No, you don\u2019t. You ate that pizza last Wednesday. Who are you kidding?<\/em><\/p>\n

We all have that voice. And if you\u2019re reading this thinking I don\u2019t have that voice<\/em> \u2014 that\u2019s the voice.<\/p>\n

The problem was never your commitment. It was never your willpower. The problem is the format<\/em> of the tool. Affirmations are declarations. And your subconscious can \u2014 and will \u2014 argue with a declaration.<\/p>\n

But it cannot argue with a question.<\/p>\n

Think about it. If I ask you, \u201cWhy is the sky blue?\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 your brain doesn\u2019t fire back with \u201cThat\u2019s not true.\u201d<\/em> It goes hunting for an answer. That\u2019s what brains do with questions. They search. They scan. They won\u2019t rest until they find something.<\/p>\n

Now imagine weaponizing that instinct.<\/p>\n

How I stumbled into this by accident<\/h2>\n

There\u2019s a teacher in the Mindvalley family named Christie Marie Sheldon, a world-class coach and intuition expert.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Back in 2015, I filmed a series of short videos with her at her home in Chicago. We shot so many that day I honestly forgot most of them. We put everything up on the Mindvalley YouTube channel<\/a>, and I moved on.<\/p>\n

Fast forward to that morning. January 14th, 2016. My 40th birthday. Feeling sorry for myself, I was sitting at my desk scrolling through our YouTube analytics, which, by the way, is a terrible way to celebrate a birthday.<\/p>\n

I clicked on one of Christie\u2019s videos. Five minutes long. Slightly fuzzy camera. And she said something that stopped me cold.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cHave you ever asked yourself \u2018Why am I always broke?\u2019 or \u2018Why can\u2019t I find love?\u2019 or \u2018Why does this always happen to me?\u2019 Those questions aren\u2019t helping you. They\u2019re programming you. Because whatever question you ask, your mind answers. If you ask why your life is hard \u2014 it will show you every reason why your life is hard.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Then she said the thing that changed everything: What if you flipped it?<\/em><\/p>\n

Instead of \u201cWhy am I always broke?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 ask: \u201cWhy do I have more money than I need?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Instead of \u201cWhy can\u2019t I find love?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 ask: \u201cWhy am I so magnetic to loving, supportive people?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Now, I know what you\u2019re thinking. That sounds like a positive affirmation dressed up in a question mark. What\u2019s the difference?<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the difference.<\/p>\n

When you say \u201cI have more money than I need\u201d<\/em> \u2014 and your bank account says otherwise \u2014 your subconscious screams liar<\/em>. It fights you. It shuts the door.<\/p>\n

But when you ask,<\/em> \u201cWhy do I have more money than I need?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 your subconscious doesn\u2019t argue. It goes quiet. And then it goes to work. It starts scanning your reality for evidence that this could be true. The door doesn\u2019t fly open. It opens a crack. Just enough for new possibilities to slip through.<\/p>\n

That morning, I wrote down one single question in my journal:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I have the fit, muscular body of an athlete?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I had no idea what was about to happen.<\/p>\n

The science behind why this works<\/h2>\n

Deep inside your brainstem is a structure called the Reticular Activating System \u2014 the RAS.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Think of it as your brain\u2019s search engine. Its job is to filter the 20 million bits of information your senses receive every second and decide which of it is relevant to you<\/em>.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve experienced this. The moment you decide you want a specific car \u2014 say, a white Tesla \u2014 you start seeing white Teslas everywhere. They were always there. Your RAS just wasn\u2019t flagging them. The moment you said \u201cI want that,\u201d<\/em> it started pointing them out.<\/p>\n

In our evolutionary past, this system kept us alive. Hunter-gatherers could spot tiny berries on a tree from fifty meters away because their survival depended on it. The RAS was calibrated to hunt for food. It\u2019s still calibrated to hunt \u2014 for whatever you tell it to hunt for.<\/p>\n

When you ask a Lofty Question like \u201cWhy do I have the fit muscular body of an athlete?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 you are programming your primitive brain. And it says: Okay, boss wants an answer. Let me start scanning.<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n

It starts by noticing the right people. The right conversations. The right opportunities. Not because the universe rearranged itself \u2014 but because those things were always there. You just couldn\u2019t see them.<\/p>\n

In my case: within weeks of asking that question, I started stumbling upon the right teachers and the right systems \u2014 almost as if they\u2019d been waiting for me to notice them. I discovered new ways of eating. I broke an addiction to sugar that had controlled me for years. My body went from 22% body fat to 14%.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Incredible teachers stepped into my life \u2014 Eric Edmeades and his WildFit program<\/a>, Lorenzo Delano and 10X fitness<\/a>\u2014 and their methods just landed<\/em> for me in a way nothing had before.\u00a0<\/p>\n

(Side note: if you\u2019re a Mindvalley member, both of these teachers influenced me so deeply that I signed them; you already have access to 10X fitness as part of your membership, and you can get WildFit here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Was the universe conspiring in my favor? Or was my brain simply \u2014 for the first time \u2014 paying attention to exactly the right signals? I\u2019ll let the philosophers fight that one out. All I know is that my body transformed. And it started with a single question.<\/p>\n

For those of you who think in more spiritual terms: there\u2019s a principle sometimes called the Law of Resonance. The world doesn\u2019t give you what you want. It gives you who you are<\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you ask a Lofty Question consistently, you are reshaping the belief at the subconscious level about who you are. And your reality reshapes itself to match.<\/p>\n

Both explanations, scientific and spiritual, point to the same truth: the questions you ask yourself every day are shaping your reality. The only question is whether you\u2019re asking the right ones.<\/p>\n

The L-O-F-T-Y method: how to build questions that actually work<\/h2>\n

Not all questions are created equal. There\u2019s an art to building one that lands.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve distilled it into five tests.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Run every question you write through all five, and you\u2019ll know immediately whether it\u2019s powerful or forgettable.<\/p>\n

L \u2014 Lifting.<\/strong> Does this question elevate your energy when you ask it? Compare these two: \u201cWhy do I eat a lot of vegetables?\u201d<\/em> versus \u201cWhy does my body naturally crave exactly what it needs to thrive?\u201d<\/em> The first one feels like a chore. The second one feels like freedom. I once tried \u201cWhy do I have no desire for wine?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 and I immediately thought, I like<\/em> wine. That question made me feel deprived. So I changed it to: \u201cWhy does my body know exactly how to stay healthy and vibrant, even when I celebrate?\u201d<\/em> That one lifted me.<\/p>\n

O \u2014 Ownership.<\/strong> Does your question require you to show up? Lofty Questions are not a couch-and-manifest strategy. If your question is \u201cWhy do I sleep so deeply every night?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 are you actually giving yourself the conditions for deep sleep? You don\u2019t need to know the how. But you do need to be willing to walk in the direction the question points.<\/p>\n

F \u2014 Future-Focused.<\/strong> Your question is not about where you\u2019ve been. It\u2019s about who you\u2019re becoming. My old internal dialogue was: \u201cWhy do I love sweet things so much? Why is this so hard?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 a question looking backwards at the identity I was trying to escape. The Lofty Question looks forward: \u201cWhy do I have the fit, muscular body of an athlete?\u201d<\/em> I didn\u2019t have that body yet. But the question described my direction, not my history.<\/p>\n

T \u2014 Truthful.<\/strong> Does this question align with your<\/em> values \u2014 or someone else\u2019s version of who you should be? I see this especially with younger students whose parents want them to become engineers, so they write \u201cWhy am I such a brilliant engineer?\u201d<\/em> when deep down they want to make films or music. Your subconscious can sense inauthenticity. A question built on someone else\u2019s dream will never take root.<\/p>\n

Y \u2014 Yes-Inducing.<\/strong> Ask the question and notice what happens in your body. Does it make you want to say yes<\/em>? Does it create a forward-moving energy in your chest? \u201cWhy am I always surrounded by people who celebrate my success?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 if that creates even a tinge of excitement, it passes.<\/p>\n

Your starter stack: five questions across five life areas<\/h2>\n

Lofty Questions<\/a> only work when they\u2019re holistic.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t want to be transformed in your health but living in financial chaos.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Life is a system, and your questions need to cover it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Here are the five areas I organize mine around, with questions you can borrow, adapt, or use as springboards to write your own.<\/p>\n

Health & Energy.<\/strong>
\u201cWhy do I have unlimited energy and vitality?\u201d <\/em>
<\/em>\u201cWhy does my body naturally crave exactly what it needs to thrive?\u201d <\/em>
<\/em>\u201cWhy am I getting younger and more vibrant every year?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Love & Relationships.<\/strong> This isn\u2019t just romantic love; it\u2019s the quality of connection in your entire life.
\u201cWhy am I always surrounded by love?\u201d
\u201cWhy do I attract loving, supportive, growth-oriented people into my life?\u201d
\u201cWhy do I create deep, meaningful connections effortlessly?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Career & Purpose.<\/strong>
\u201cWhy am I so deeply aligned with my soul\u2019s purpose?\u201d <\/em>
<\/em>\u201cWhy do opportunities flow to me so effortlessly?\u201d <\/em>
<\/em>\u201cWhy do I solve all the challenges in my work in a fun and easy way?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Abundance & Money.<\/strong> Be careful here. Don\u2019t dress scarcity in Lofty Question clothing. \u201cWhy do I have enough money to pay my bills?\u201d<\/em> is still a ceiling question.
Instead,
\u201cWhy do I have more money than I need?\u201d <\/em>
<\/em>\u201cWhy do I have avalanches of abundance raining down on me for all my goals, visions, and desires?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Personal Growth.<\/strong> This is the category that feeds all the others.
\u201cWhy am I always evolving with such ease and joy?\u201d <\/em>
<\/em>\u201cWhy does the right knowledge, the right teachers, and the right insights always find me exactly when I need them?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Start with five, one from each area. I currently cycle through about 30. But I didn\u2019t start there. I started with five and let them grow as my life, my identity, and my desires evolved.<\/p>\n

The practice: three rules<\/h2>\n

One \u2014 Do this in meditation. State each question once.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

When your mind is relaxed, what neuroscientists call the alpha brainwave state, your subconscious is dramatically more receptive. This is the same principle behind hypnosis: a hypnotist relaxes you first because that\u2019s when suggestion takes root. So do your Lofty Questions during morning meditation, evening wind-down, or during the Six Phase if you practice it. Say each question once with full feeling. You are not repeating it like a mantra. You\u2019re planting a seed and releasing it. That non-attachment is what makes it work.<\/p>\n

Two \u2014 Stay curious. Don\u2019t force an answer.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

A Lofty Question is an open loop. You plant it, and then you live your life. You stay curious about how it might show up. Not anxious about when. Not obsessed with how. The how is none of your business \u2014 the universe often has a shortcut you haven\u2019t imagined yet.<\/p>\n

Three \u2014 Use \u201cwhy,\u201d not \u201cwhat\u201d or \u201chow.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

Why<\/em> do I have the fit muscular body of an athlete \u2014 not what do I need to do to get one? \u201cWhat\u201d implies a to-do list. \u201cHow\u201d implies effort you have to figure out. \u201cWhy\u201d presupposes it\u2019s already true. Your mind\u2019s only job is to find out why<\/em>. That one word makes an enormous difference.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my challenge to you<\/h2>\n

Starting tomorrow morning, write down five Lofty Questions \u2014 one for each area. Put them on paper or on your phone. Somewhere you\u2019ll see them.<\/p>\n

In your first few minutes of quiet, close your eyes, take one deep breath, and read each question once. State it. Feel it in your body. Let it go. Then get up and live your day.<\/p>\n

For the next 30 days, keep a simple log. And in that log, write down every tiny piece of evidence that your questions are coming true. If your question is about health and you order the salad instead of the fries \u2014 write it down. If someone texts you out of nowhere who\u2019s connected to an opportunity you\u2019ve been circling \u2014 write it down. A small synchronicity on a day you asked about abundance \u2014 write it down.<\/p>\n

I know this sounds almost absurdly simple. But Jose Silva found across decades of research that when you give genuine gratitude for the tiny synchronicities, they scale. Rapidly. The universe interprets your gratitude as a signal: more of this, please.<\/em><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I want you to know.<\/p>\n

The universe has been waiting. Your entire life \u2014 it has been waiting for you to ask the right questions.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Most of us spend decades asking the wrong ones. Why am I broke?<\/em> Why can\u2019t I find love? Why is this so hard? And the universe \u2014 loyal, patient, literal \u2014 answers exactly what we ask.<\/p>\n

Every question is a prayer. Every prayer shapes your reality. The only thing standing between you and the life you can feel is possible \u2014 is the quality of the questions you\u2019re asking yourself.<\/p>\n

So starting tomorrow, ask better ones.<\/p>\n

If any of this resonated, I\u2019d love to hear which Lofty Question hit hardest for you. <\/em>Leave a comment on the blog version of this newsletter<\/em><\/strong>. I read every single one.<\/em><\/p>\n

With love,\u00a0<\/p>\n

Vishen<\/p>\n

\"Vishen