{"id":12958,"date":"2026-05-11T22:20:57","date_gmt":"2026-05-12T02:20:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/my-favorite-books-about-parenting\/"},"modified":"2026-05-11T22:20:57","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T02:20:57","slug":"my-favorite-books-about-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/my-favorite-books-about-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"My Favorite Books About Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

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An earlier version of this article appeared April 24, 2018<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
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I\u2019ve read many parenting books, but a few really stand out to me\u2014in many cases, I\u2019ve read these books several times.<\/p>\n

One thing I’ve discovered is that when a parenting book is truly excellent, its advice is just as helpful for dealing with adults as with children. Children and adults are more alike than we sometimes assume.<\/strong> For instance, when I was researching habits for Better Than Before<\/strong><\/em><\/a>, my book about habit change, I did a fair amount of research on the design of pre-school and kindergarten routines.<\/p>\n

So after reading these books about parenthood, I\u2019ve applied much of what I learned to my adult relationships, with equal success.<\/p>\n

I’ve grouped my recommendations into a few broad categories below, depending on what you’re looking for.<\/p>\n

Books about communicating with kids (and adults)<\/h2>\n

These books focus on how to talk with children\u2014and how to listen. As I’ve found, the lessons apply just as well to grown-ups.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0<\/strong>How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk<\/em><\/a> by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.<\/p>\n

How I love this book! It has helped me tremendously as a parent \u2013 and in every other aspect of my life. In fact, I probably think more about its lessons in the context of adult interactions that I do of child interactions. I’ve read it at least five times. It\u2019s very wise, and it\u2019s also a very fun read.<\/p>\n

One of the most important lessons I learned from this book? Make people feel happier by acknowledging that they\u2019re not feeling happy. When we acknowledge the reality of other people\u2019s feelings, they know they\u2019re being heard.<\/strong> Instead of denying feelings like anger, irritation, fear, or reluctance, we do better to articulate the other person\u2019s point of view. It turns out that when people\u2019s bad feelings are acknowledged, those feelings dissipate more easily.<\/p>\n

This was a giant revelation to me. It really, really works. If you\u2019d like to read a post I wrote on this subject, it\u2019s here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

2. <\/strong>I also love Faber & Mazlish\u2019s book Siblings Without Rivalry<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Books about children’s social lives and friendships<\/h2>\n

Friendships, teasing, exclusion, group dynamics\u2014children’s social lives can be one of the most interesting (and sometimes hardest) parts of parenting.<\/p>\n

3. <\/strong>Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children<\/em><\/a>\u00a0by Michael Thompson.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a giant raving fan of Michael Thompson\u2019s work. It\u2019s practical, realistic, and insightful, plus it\u2019s written in a very engaging way.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a post I wrote<\/a> about a passage from the book about why it\u2019s a bad idea to “interview for pain.” Again, this principle is just as true for adults as for kids.<\/p>\n

4.<\/strong> I also love Thompson\u2019s book Mom, They’re Teasing Me: Helping Your Child Solve Social Problems<\/em><\/a>. If you want to hear “A Little Happier” episode where I talk about one of the most important lessons I gleaned from that book, it\u2019s here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Books about resilience, character, and money<\/h2>\n

These books tackle some of the bigger questions of raising kids: how to let them struggle, how to teach them about money, how to build character.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0<\/strong>The Blessing of a Skinned Knee<\/em><\/a> by Wendy Mogel.<\/p>\n

This is a very useful book that emphasizes why it\u2019s important to let children make mistakes, suffer consequences, handle disappointment, and deal with boredom as part of their growing up. Harder than it sounds!<\/p>\n

6.<\/strong> The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money<\/i><\/a> by Ron Lieber.<\/p>\n

This helpful book is very focused on a common challenge: How we can talk about money with our kids and instill good financial values and behaviors\u2014so that children reach adulthood as “grounded, generous, and smart about money.”<\/p>\n

Books with overall frameworks for parenting<\/h2>\n

Some parents want a single book that gives them a framework or philosophy for the whole job. These three are good options.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0<\/strong>Practical Wisdom for Parents: Raising Self-Confident Children in the Preschool Years<\/em><\/a> by Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum.<\/p>\n

I love this book, in part because it\u2019s a terrific book and in part because it was written by two people whom I really like and respect. In fact, as I describe in my book The Happiness Projec<\/strong><\/em><\/a>t, I played a small role in the book\u2019s inception. (You can also read that story here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

If you want to listen to a two-minute episode of “A Little Happier” where I describe one of the many wise things that Nancy Schulman said to me, it\u2019s here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

8.<\/strong> Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be<\/em><\/a> by Dr. Becky Kennedy.<\/p>\n

“Dr. Becky’s” approach is really resonating with people. One of the things that I particularly appreciate about this book is that it deals straightforwardly with many of the challenges of parenting. For instance, there’s a chapter on whining. (And the discussion applies just as well to whiny adults as whiny children.)<\/p>\n

9.<\/strong> The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans<\/em><\/a> by Aliza Pressman.<\/p>\n

One of the most important things I’ve learned about happiness? There’s no one right<\/em> way, there’s no single best<\/em> way to make our lives happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative. So I really appreciate Aliza Pressman’s approach, because she argues that “there’s no one ‘right’ way to raise good humans”\u2014and yet these five principles can be our guide.<\/p>\n

A book about what parenthood does to parents<\/h2>\n

For one thing, this is one of my all-time favorite titles. I love that paradox.<\/p>\n

10.<\/strong> All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood<\/em><\/a> by Jennifer Senior.<\/p>\n

Unlike the other books in this list, this thought-provoking book isn’t a guide about parenting; it’s about the effect that having children has on the lives of mothers and fathers. Which is a fascinating<\/em> topic.<\/p>\n

A book for parents of grown (or nearly grown) children<\/h2>\n

Parenting doesn’t end when kids leave the house. This book has been particularly useful in my own life.<\/p>\n

11. <\/strong>The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter\u2014And How to Make the Most of Them Now<\/em><\/a> by Meg Jay.<\/p>\n

True, this book has a somewhat terrifying title, but it’s very useful. A listener suggested it to me, so I read it and loved it, and because it was lying around the apartment, my older daughter, Eliza, read it, too. She found it extremely helpful, recommended it to her friends, and just told me last week that she often thinks about it. So I just gave Eliza the new book by Meg Jay, The Twentysomething Treatment<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/section><\/div>\n

The post My Favorite Books About Parenting<\/a> appeared first on Gretchen Rubin<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"Profit<\/a>
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An earlier version of this article appeared April 24, 2018 I\u2019ve read many parenting books, but a few really stand out to me\u2014in many cases, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-habits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12958"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12958\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}