{"id":1609,"date":"2023-03-14T05:38:19","date_gmt":"2023-03-14T09:38:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/do-you-want-to-be-heard-or-understood-frank-sonnenberg\/"},"modified":"2023-03-14T05:38:19","modified_gmt":"2023-03-14T09:38:19","slug":"do-you-want-to-be-heard-or-understood-frank-sonnenberg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/do-you-want-to-be-heard-or-understood-frank-sonnenberg\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Want to Be Heard or Understood? \u2014 Frank Sonnenberg"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
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Did you ever attend a party where one person dominates the conversation? They think they\u2019re on stage, performing for an audience. Similarly, have you ever attended a meeting where one person rambles on and on and on? I assume they\u2019re trying to make a point, but for the life of me, I can\u2019t figure out what. I wonder whether they\u2019re trying to deliver a message or just want to hear themselves talk. In any case, the audience may be listening, but the message isn\u2019t being heard<\/em>.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a big difference between being heard and being understood.<\/p>\n

If attention-seekers are trying to grandstand, then mission accomplished. But if they are trying to communicate<\/a>, persuade, or influence others in the room, their words are falling on deaf ears<\/a>. The truth is that some folks like to hear themselves talk. They monopolize the conversation, interrupt incessantly, steer the conversation to advance their own agenda, and don\u2019t let a word in edgewise. They shout over others, repeat ideas again and again, and rarely take a breath when they\u2019re talking your ear off. (Ugh!) You have to ask yourself, what, if anything, are they trying to accomplish? As Plato said, \u201cWise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.\u201d<\/p>\n

Speak to Be Understood Rather Than Heard<\/h3>\n

There are many reasons why talkaholics behave this way. Some folks are self-absorbed and have an inflated sense of importance. They think they\u2019re the smartest person in the room and want you to know that. Others are overexcited, insecure, socially inept, or lack awareness that they\u2019re dominating the conversation.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure they believe they\u2019re accomplishing something by preaching, ranting, or complaining, but it would serve them well to pause\u2026and take the temperature of the room. The truth is that they\u2019re talking to themselves.<\/p>\n

Here are 10 things talkaholics should know about communicating:<\/p>\n

If you have nothing to say, don\u2019t say it.<\/strong><\/span> Enough said.<\/p>\n

Speak with a goal in mind.<\/strong><\/span> Before opening your mouth, or hitting the send button, determine whether you have something valuable to contribute and if your message is constructive. As the saying goes, you can\u2019t unring a bell.<\/p>\n

Formulate your ideas before speaking.<\/strong><\/span> Be clear, concise, and coherent. Use stories, metaphors, and examples to paint a vivid picture. Remember, if you can say it in a paragraph, don\u2019t write a book.<\/p>\n

Talk with<\/em> people, not at<\/em> them.<\/strong><\/span> People don\u2019t like to be lectured, given a sermon, or be the recipient of jargon-filled gobbledygook. Remember, it\u2019s not only what you bring to the table, but also how you serve it.<\/p>\n

Communicate. Don\u2019t just talk.<\/strong><\/span> Communication is a two-way street. It requires more than talking. Identify topics of mutual interest. Draw others into the conversation and show respect<\/a> for what they have to say.<\/p>\n

Gauge your audience.<\/strong><\/span> Connect with your audience. Be empathetic. Listen for what\u2019s not being said by identifying emotional cues and observing body language. Moreover, ask open-ended questions to confirm that your message is understood.<\/p>\n

Impress others by listening.<\/strong><\/span> Listening will not only make you wiser, but it\u2019ll also make you look smarter. People think the best way to make a good impression is to prove how smart they are by talking. They\u2019re mistaken. If you want to make a big splash, be a good listener.<\/p>\n

Listen with the intent to understand.<\/strong><\/span> According to one study<\/a>, we retain around half of what people say to us. (And that\u2019s directly after they say it.) Good listening requires more than keeping your mouth shut. Ask questions. Give positive nonverbal cues. And listen without judgment.<\/p>\n

Listen to learn. <\/strong><\/span>We often spend our listening time thinking about how we\u2019ll respond or, worse yet, thinking about something else entirely. As the Dalai Lama said, \u201cWhen you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.\u201d<\/p>\n

Keep quiet. You won\u2019t regret it.<\/strong><\/span> As Frank Tyger, the editorial cartoonist and columnist, said, \u201cBe a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

If You Want to Be Heard, Listen<\/h3>\n

Most people feel compelled to talk \u2014 even when they don\u2019t have anything to say. That said, the next time you want to make a statement, listen if you want to be heard. As Ashleigh Brilliant, the American author, said, \u201cIf you think communication is all talking, you haven\u2019t been listening.\u201d<\/p>\n

Check out Frank\u2019s latest book,\u00a0The Path to a Meaningful Life<\/i><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Are You An Effective Communicator?<\/h3>\n

Please leave a\u00a0comment<\/a>\u00a0and tell us what you think or\u00a0share it with someone who can benefit from the information.<\/b><\/p>\n

Additional Reading:
Be Humble: Don\u2019t Let Success Go to Your Head<\/a>
Some Folks Think They\u2019re Always Right<\/a>
How to Improve Your Conversation Skills \u2013 10 Valuable Tips<\/a>
Do You Have a Big Head? You Be the Judge<\/a>
Is Your Confidence Turning Into Egotism?<\/a>
The Costs of a Big Ego<\/a>
Meaningful Conversations Don\u2019t Happen By Chance<\/a><\/p>\n

If you like this article, subscribe to our blog so that you don\u2019t miss a single post. Get future posts by RSS<\/a> feed, email<\/a> or Facebook<\/a>. It\u2019s FREE. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"Profit<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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