{"id":1844,"date":"2023-03-30T14:26:21","date_gmt":"2023-03-30T18:26:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/why-self-confidence-matters-the-key-to-the-happiest-you\/"},"modified":"2023-03-30T14:26:21","modified_gmt":"2023-03-30T18:26:21","slug":"why-self-confidence-matters-the-key-to-the-happiest-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/why-self-confidence-matters-the-key-to-the-happiest-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Self-Confidence Matters: The Key to the Happiest You"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<p>You have the potential to take on the world\u2014that\u2019s the truth. However, you may also find that your self-confidence isn\u2019t always there when you want it to be.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>But instead of being a wallflower, what if you started seeing confidence as a muscle that needs strengthening? With the right mindset and approach, you can learn how to take on whatever challenges come your way.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a glimpse of what you should know:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"#h-what-is-self-confidence\">What Is Self-Confidence?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#h-why-do-you-need-to-increase-your-confidence\">Why Do You Need to Increase Your Confidence?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#h-main-reasons-for-lack-of-self-confidence\">Main Reasons for Lack of Self-Confidence<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#h-signs-that-show-lack-of-self-confidence\">Signs That Show Lack of Self-Confidence<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#h-how-to-gain-confidence-in-yourself-5-tips-from-marisa-peer\">How to Gain Confidence in Yourself: 5 Tips From Marisa Peer<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Learning to embody more confidence is a great statement of self-love. It\u2019s as <strong>Marisa Peer<\/strong>, a world-renowned therapist and trainer of Mindvalley\u2019s <em>Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance <\/em>Quest, says, \u201c<em>When you believe in you, everyone else believes in you<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-self-confidence\">What Is Self-Confidence?<\/h2>\n<p>Self-confidence comes down to the attitude and relationship you have with yourself. You have the boldness to express your true self, the fearlessness to handle whatever life may throw at you, and the awareness that vulnerability is not a weakness.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Think about the unshakable confidence of some of the most epic movie characters, such as Tony Stark or Elle Woods. With a sense of self-assurance like that, anybody could go out there and make the world a better place by fighting for peace.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p>Knowing that you are enough doesn\u2019t make you do less, but it makes you recognize that you\u2019re worth more.<\/p>\n<p><cite>\u2014 Marisa Peer, trainer of Mindvalley\u2019s <em>Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance<\/em> Quest<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It\u2019s true that believing in yourself fully is an act of <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/self-love-techniques\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">self-love<\/a>. But it also means owning your shadows. As Bren\u00e9 Brown says in her book, <em>Daring Greatly<\/em>, <em>\u201cOnly when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s knowing that you may not be what others expect you to be, but that you\u2019re confident enough and <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/feeling-worthy\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">feel worthy<\/a> of yourself to show up in the world as you are.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2017\/12\/4ddd8b05-self-confidence-marisa-peer-mardo-mannimagi.webp\" alt=\"Marisa Peer\" class=\"wp-image-66946\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Marisa Peer, trainer of Mindvalley&#8217;s <em>Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance<\/em> Quest<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-do-you-need-to-increase-your-confidence\">Why Do You Need to Increase Your Confidence?<\/h2>\n<p>When you believe in yourself, you have the courage to go out there and chase your dreams. It\u2019s like turning your <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/inner-critic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">inner critic<\/a> into your own best friend and becoming your most supporting cheerleader.<\/p>\n<p>When you put the effort into loving who you are, you start attracting so much love, as Marisa explains in her Quest. From that point on, any of your relationships could flourish and become more meaningful.<\/p>\n<p>Science also backs up the importance of confidence in your day-to-day life. For example, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/20432304_Effect_of_Perceived_Controllability_and_Performance_Standards_on_Self-Regulation_of_Complex_Decision_Making\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">one study<\/a> conducted by R.E. Wood at the University of Sydney suggested that confidence in oneself increases performance. Higher levels of self-esteem were shown to enrich decision-making abilities, problem-solving skills, the ability to adapt, and overall efficiency.<\/p>\n<p>Making the effort to learn how to build more self-confidence is like adding rocket fuel to your journey of self-growth.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Here are a few more benefits that pop up in your life when you reconnect with your power:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>More likely to be assertive and communicate your needs<\/li>\n<li>Becoming a more effective leader<\/li>\n<li>Lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression<\/li>\n<li>Openness to taking risks<\/li>\n<li>Showing your authenticity<\/li>\n<li>Courage to get out of your comfort zone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Imagine living your life knowing that there\u2019s someone who\u2019s always celebrating your success, holds you accountable, and creates a safe space for you to move forward through the hard times. And you\u2014you\u2019re that someone.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-main-reasons-for-lack-of-self-confidence\">Main Reasons for Lack of Self-Confidence<\/h2>\n<p>We can gain or lose confidence for various reasons. Psychological studies have shown that the main influencing factors are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Experience. <\/strong>The feeling of confidence or lack of it is imprinted in your subconscious mind, says one <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC6005152\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">2018 study<\/a>. It happens through the experience of positive and negative events. For example, let\u2019s say you nailed a public-speaking gig after practicing a million times. The collected experience from the practice builds resilience to try something again and again until you start performing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Environment. <\/strong>Another <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC2084483\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">research<\/a> suggests that the way you were raised influences your self-esteem. Simply put, if you\u2019ve grown up in an environment where your parents had low self-esteem, you\u2019d be more likely to absorb their beliefs and behaviors like a sponge.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Trauma. <\/strong>Traumatic events can make you feel like the world is a scary and unsafe place to live in. Actually, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scirp.org\/Journal\/PaperInformation.aspx?PaperID=83584\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">one study<\/a> published in the <em>Open Journal of Preventive Medicine<\/em> found that <em>\u201cthe onset of PTSD causes a decline in memory ability and attentional function, which interferes with one\u2019s life and leads to self-denial, resulting in a decline in self-esteem.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Lifestyle choices. <\/strong>The healthier you choose to live your life, the more confident you\u2019ll be to take on its challenges, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5415583\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">study<\/a> finds. This happens because your health acts like a stable foundation for everything else that comes your way. So, never neglect taking care of your body and mind with nutritious food, proper sleep, regular exercise, and emotional well-being.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Addressing the root cause of the problem is always the first step. And little by little, you head towards building a stronger, more positive sense of self-worth.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-signs-that-show-lack-of-self-confidence\">Signs That Show Lack of Self-Confidence<\/h2>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p>Harsh, harmful, critical words that you say to yourself are a major cause of depression.<\/p>\n<p><cite>\u2014 Marisa Peer, trainer of Mindvalley\u2019s <em>Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance<\/em> Quest<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>A lack of self-confidence may sometimes feel like carrying a backpack full of self-doubt. You\u2019re unsure of what to do, and every decision that needs to be made takes a lot more effort than you\u2019d like.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So what are the signs that show you may be lacking self-confidence? Explore the list:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Negative self-talk<\/li>\n<li>Resistant to change<\/li>\n<li>Close-minded to opportunities<\/li>\n<li>Striving for perfectionism<\/li>\n<li>Feeling ashamed of your flaws<\/li>\n<li>Falling into the victim mentality<\/li>\n<li>Having a pessimistic outlook on life<\/li>\n<li>Feeling unable to express your thoughts and opinions<\/li>\n<li>Engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Fortunately, as mentioned, <strong>your confidence is like a muscle that needs a bit more training<\/strong>. And you can learn a few tips for self-confidence from Marisa on how to do so.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-gain-confidence-in-yourself-5-tips-from-marisa-peer\">How to Gain Confidence in Yourself: 5 Tips From Marisa Peer<\/h2>\n<p>During her A-Fest 2015 stage talk, Marisa shared a few insights that she discovered by working with extraordinary people. She wasn\u2019t afraid to be a more unconventional therapist and challenge the norm of what traditional therapy training taught her.<\/p>\n<p>Listen in as she explains how to create phenomenal success using the power of your mind:<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"container-lazyload preview-lazyload container-youtube js-lazyload--not-loaded\"><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/lw3NyUMLh7Y\" class=\"lazy-load-youtube preview-lazyload preview-youtube\" data-video-title=\"Crash course for phenomenal success | Marisa Peer\" title=\"Play video &quot;Crash course for phenomenal success | Marisa Peer&quot;\">https:\/\/youtu.be\/lw3NyUMLh7Y<\/a>Video can&#8217;t be loaded because JavaScript is disabled: <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/lw3NyUMLh7Y\" title=\"Crash course for phenomenal success | Marisa Peer\">Crash course for phenomenal success | Marisa Peer (https:\/\/youtu.be\/lw3NyUMLh7Y)<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<p>Additionally, you can try these tips on how to build unshakable confidence:<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-come-up-with-your-own-definition-of-confidence\">1. Come up with your own definition of confidence<\/h3>\n<p>What\u2019s your unique brand of confidence? It\u2019s a topic Marisa brings up in her Mindvalley Quest\u2014what confidence means to you. Knowing your own definition of high self-esteem helps you nurture those traits of your personality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Marisa Peer\u2019s tip: <\/strong>Take a moment to reflect and ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What does confidence look like? How does it feel?&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>Do you feel confident when you put on a certain hat, coat, or pair of shoes?&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>Do you feel confident when you\u2019re in the middle of a specific activity?<\/li>\n<li>What makes you feel good about yourself?&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>What do you perceive as \u201cconfidence\u201d in others?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Find the places in your day and in your life that stand out to you as high points, where you felt calm, cool, and totally in control.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-tell-your-mind-what-you-want-it-to-do\">2. Tell your mind what you want it to do<\/h3>\n<p>A simple but powerful epiphany Marisa had in her therapy practice was this: <strong>Your mind does what it truly thinks you want it to do and what it truly believes is best for you<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re the only one who chooses how to use the power of the mind, so remember how much control you actually hold. Its purpose is always to ensure that it moves you from pain to pleasure. However, you can decide what that pleasure means to you.<\/p>\n<p>The issue arises when you speak negatively to yourself. For example, if you say, <em>&#8220;I hate doing this job assignment,&#8221;<\/em> your mind will make you procrastinate for hours. Or if you say, <em>&#8220;The pressure of this is killing me,&#8221;<\/em> your mind will make you sick.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Marisa Peer\u2019s tip:<\/strong>&nbsp; Change your dialogue with your mind. Start by writing down all the negative beliefs you catch yourself thinking about. Then, change the language you use to speak to yourself.<\/p>\n<p>This\u2019ll also shift your perspective on the things you associate pleasure with. And establishing new healthy habits in your life won&#8217;t seem like such a dread because you won&#8217;t be running on old thinking patterns.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s going to be a win-win situation for both you and your mind. As you consciously create the life you truly desire to live, your mind feels ecstatic for accomplishing its purpose: helping you thrive and achieve those goals. It&#8217;s up to you to decide how.<\/p>\n<p>If you want to start changing your self-talk immediately, you can listen to this guided hypnosis session by Marisa:<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-connect-to-the-power-of-i-am-enough\">3. Connect to the power of <em>I am enough<\/em><\/h3>\n<p><em>\u201cIf I were your doctor,\u201d<\/em> says Marisa, <em>\u201cyour diagnosis would be that you don\u2019t think you\u2019re enough.\u201d <\/em>The common denominator of all our problems is that we don\u2019t feel good enough, strong enough, or even confident enough. The list can go on and on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Marisa Peer\u2019s tip: <\/strong>Challenge yourself to say <em>\u201cI am enough\u201d<\/em> as many times as you possibly can. Write it down on your mirrors. Sing it out loud in the car. Set it as your lock screen. And simply take any moment you can to remind yourself how incredibly good it feels to be enough.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In the beginning, it may seem silly, or you may even feel like you\u2019re lying to yourself. However, Marisa has a unique way of rephrasing that too:<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\">\n<p>Lie to your brain, cheat fear and steal back that phenomenal confidence you were born with.<\/p>\n<p><cite>\u2014 Marisa Peer, trainer of Mindvalley\u2019s <em>Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance <\/em>Quest<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The more you connect with your <em>enoughness<\/em>, the more you will embody it. And from this place of pure acceptance, your confidence can shine through all the blockages and limiting beliefs that were holding you back.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-make-the-familiar-unfamiliar\">4. Make the familiar unfamiliar<\/h3>\n<p><em>\u201cTo succeed at anything, you have to make the unfamiliar familiar and the familiar unfamiliar.\u201d <\/em>Read it again and let it sink in.<\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s important to do when strengthening the muscle of self-confidence is to decide what familiar things you want to get rid of. Then consider what new experiences you&#8217;d like to try.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Marisa Peer\u2019s tip: <\/strong>The next time something comes up that you find challenging or difficult, don\u2019t just say, <em>\u201cIt\u2019s hard; I can\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/em>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Marisa recommends saying instead, <em>\u201cThis is just unfamiliar, but the more I do it, the more familiar it will get.\u201d <\/em>And it will.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-let-praise-in\">5. Let praise in<\/h3>\n<p>Focus on letting go of destructive criticism while letting praise in. And when you\u2019re faced with people trying to criticize you, you can respond as follows:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>\u201cThanks for sharing that.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>\u201cWould you repeat that slowly?\u201d <\/em>or<em> \u201cAre you trying to hurt me?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>\u201cDid you know that critics have the most criticism reserved for themselves?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It might just throw them off guard and make them realize the impact of their words.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Marisa Peer\u2019s tip: <\/strong>Remember, criticism often comes from a place of insecurity or projection. It\u2019s not always about you, so don\u2019t take it personally. Focus on the good things people have to say and let the negativity roll off your back.<\/p>\n<p>Marisa reminds you that <em>\u201cbenevolent people praise, and people who feel inferior criticize.\u201d <\/em>And more often than not, it\u2019s not even about you; it\u2019s about something they\u2019re projecting.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1200\" height=\"798\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2017\/12\/7cdca0bd-self-confidence-mindvalley-live-2023-dubai-day-2-kha_5381-karen-harms.webp\" alt=\"People holding hands at Mindvalley Live event in Dubai\" class=\"wp-image-66945\" \/><\/figure>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-unlock-your-unshakable-confidence\">Unlock Your Unshakable Confidence<\/h2>\n<p><em>\u201cTo love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance,\u201d<\/em> Oscar Wilde once said. It\u2019s still incredibly relevant in our modern society.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re so used to looking for love outside ourselves and searching for meaningful connections everywhere else. However, falling in love with yourself is never going to bore you or disappoint you. And the best part of it all is that it lasts forever.<\/p>\n<p>Building a strong relationship with who you truly are will unleash your ultimate self-confidence and unlock the power of your fullest potential. And if you need some guidance along the way, Mindvalley can open the doors to insightful resources, like that from Marisa Peer.<\/p>\n<p>With her <strong><em>Rapid Transformational Therapy for Abundance<\/em><\/strong> Quest, you can access powerful wisdom to discover your best self and live your best life.<\/p>\n<p>By <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/signup\/?utm_source=blog_inline_link&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_freemium&amp;utm_medium=end_of_article&amp;otag=mv_blog_freemium\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>signing up for an account<\/strong><\/a> today, you can sample classes from this program and many others while you apply this knowledge and see how it transforms your life.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re feeling stuck on your path, you can also browse through a library of <strong>guided meditations (available for free on the <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/apps\/?utm_source=blog\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Mindvalley app<\/strong><\/a><strong>)<\/strong> to help you release any mental tension and shift your limiting beliefs.<\/p>\n<p>As she\u2019s been known to say, \u201c<em>You make your beliefs, and then your beliefs make you<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Welcome in.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You have the potential to take on the world\u2014that\u2019s the truth. However, you may also find that your self-confidence isn\u2019t always there when you want [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1845,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happiness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1844"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1844\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}