{"id":1846,"date":"2023-03-31T00:21:14","date_gmt":"2023-03-31T04:21:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/may-sarton-on-grieving-a-pet-the-marginalian\/"},"modified":"2023-03-31T00:21:14","modified_gmt":"2023-03-31T04:21:14","slug":"may-sarton-on-grieving-a-pet-the-marginalian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/may-sarton-on-grieving-a-pet-the-marginalian\/","title":{"rendered":"May Sarton on Grieving a Pet \u2013 The Marginalian"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/House-Sea-Journal-May-Sarton\/dp\/0393313905\/?tag=braipick-20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"320\" height=\"484\" class=\"cover alignright size-medium jetpack-lazy-image\" alt=\"May Sarton on Grieving a Pet\" decoding=\"async\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/maysarton_thehousebythesea.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1 1200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/maysarton_thehousebythesea.jpg?resize=320%2C484&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/maysarton_thehousebythesea.jpg?resize=600%2C907&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/maysarton_thehousebythesea.jpg?resize=240%2C363&amp;ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/maysarton_thehousebythesea.jpg?resize=768%2C1161&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/maysarton_thehousebythesea.jpg?resize=1016%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1016w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 320px) 100vw, 320px\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/maysarton_thehousebythesea.jpg?fit=320%2C484&amp;ssl=1&amp;is-pending-load=1\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>There is an ineffable comfort that our non-human companions bless upon our lives \u2014 those beings whose daily task it is to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2019\/02\/07\/you-cant-have-it-all-barbara-ras-emily-levine\/\">\u201cbite every sorrow until it fled\u201d<\/a> \u2014 and with their loss comes an ineffable species of grief. <\/p>\n<p>Two centuries after the young Lord Byron tried to put it into words in his <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2019\/08\/18\/lord-byron-epitatph-for-a-dog\/\">soulful elegy for his beloved dog<\/a>, the poet and novelist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/tag\/may-sarton\/\">May Sarton<\/a> (May 3, 1912\u2013July 16, 1995) captured it in stirring prose in the wake of her beloved cat\u2019s death, reflecting on the emotional rollercoaster of loss \u2014 the syncopation of grief and relief that is any death.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_80066\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/House-Sea-Journal-May-Sarton\/dp\/0393313905\/?tag=braipick-20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" width=\"592\" height=\"754\" class=\"size-full wp-image-80066 jetpack-lazy-image\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?w=592&amp;ssl=1 592w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?resize=320%2C408&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?resize=240%2C306&amp;ssl=1 240w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 592px) 100vw, 592px\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?resize=592%2C754&amp;is-pending-load=1#038;ssl=1\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" data-lazy-fallback=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?resize=592%2C754&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"592\" height=\"754\" class=\"size-full wp-image-80066\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?w=592&amp;ssl=1 592w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?resize=320%2C408&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.themarginalian.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MaySarton_TheMarginalian.jpg?resize=240%2C306&amp;ssl=1 240w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 592px) 100vw, 592px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">May Sarton<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>In a diary entry from the autumn of 1974, found in her uncommonly rewarding journal collection <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/House-Sea-Journal-May-Sarton\/dp\/0393313905\/?tag=braipick-20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><em>The House by the Sea<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, Sarton writes:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>In some ways the death of an animal is worse than the death of a person. I wonder why. Partly it is absolutely inward and private, the relation between oneself and an animal, and also there is <em>total<\/em> dependency. I kept thinking as I drove home, this is all inside me, this grief, and I can\u2019t explain it, nor do I want to, to anyone. Now, six days later, I begin to feel the immense relief of no longer being woken at five by angry miaows, \u201cHurry up, where\u2019s my breakfast?\u201d from the top of the stairs, no longer having to throw away box after box of half-eaten food because she was so finicky, no longer trundling up three flights with clean kitty litter \u2014 but, above all, no longer carrying her, a leaden weight, in my heart. She was the ghost at the feast, here where everything else is so happy. But, oh, my pussy, I wish for your rare purrs and for your sweet soft head butting gently against my arm to be caressed!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Complement with John Updike\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2012\/12\/06\/whats-a-dog-for-john-homans\/\">stirring elegy for his dog<\/a> and Leonard Michaels\u2019s playful, poignant meditation on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2020\/08\/04\/a-cat-leonard-michaels\/\">how our cats reveal us to ourselves<\/a>, then revisit May Sarton <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2023\/03\/17\/may-sarton-talent\/\">how to cultivate your talent<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2023\/02\/12\/meditation-in-sunlight-may-sarton-amanda-palmer\/\">the relationship between presence, solitude, and love<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2016\/10\/17\/may-sarton-journal-of-a-solitude-depression\/\">the cure for despair<\/a>, and her timeless <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2017\/12\/01\/may-sarton-canticle-6-considerations\/\">ode to the art of being alone<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is an ineffable comfort that our non-human companions bless upon our lives \u2014 those beings whose daily task it is to \u201cbite every sorrow [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1182,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-purpose"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1846"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1846\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}