{"id":2410,"date":"2023-05-09T16:47:20","date_gmt":"2023-05-09T20:47:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-gaslight-yourself-effectively-for-success\/"},"modified":"2023-05-09T16:47:20","modified_gmt":"2023-05-09T20:47:20","slug":"how-to-gaslight-yourself-effectively-for-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-gaslight-yourself-effectively-for-success\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Gaslight Yourself Effectively for Success"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div id=\"mvp-content-main\">\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How many times have you set a goal that required a quantum leap or felt like a stretch, and then you missed it? You\u2019re not alone. No business owner crushes every goal, 100% of the time. Yet for some reason, business owners will get down on themselves in some pretty destructive ways that only keep them from attaining their goals longer.\u00a0<\/span><span id=\"more-56023\"\/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Success is about more than productivity and ambitious goals. It requires rest, celebration, and compassion for yourself. Here\u2019s how you can be more gentle with yourself while increasing your success.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>The gaslighting infiltration<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do business owners gaslight themselves when they don\u2019t hit the goal? It might look like statements like:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I would\u2019ve worked harder, I would\u2019ve hit the goal (while working at capacity)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Quantum leaps happen for everyone else. Something must be wrong with me since I can\u2019t get them to work for me.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I just\u2026(pretty much anything that comes after that phrase is a gaslighting-type statement)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I guess I\u2019m not meant to go as far as other people<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The market can\u2019t bear it<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone is down right now<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And the list goes on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The problem is these statements take away your power to create change. When you tell yourself that you don\u2019t work hard enough, you\u2019re setting yourself up for burnout. You don\u2019t want to become an entrepreneur or coach who works 100 or more hours a week and loses touch with every other part of their life. That\u2019s not a sustainable business model. So working harder consistently as a way to reach your goals is not a method that will work long term.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Likewise, when you make statements justifying why reaching your goal couldn\u2019t have happened, you\u2019re teaching your subconscious that reaching this goal is either impossible or highly unlikely. Therefore, your brain starts to believe that this particular goal cannot happen or cannot happen without strenuous effort (beyond your capabilities).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you start putting limitations on what\u2019s possible for you based on effort, you create blocks to efficiency, organization, rest, and rejuvenation \u2014 all of which play a vital role in scaling. A well-rested brain is one that\u2019s creative, efficient, and productive. When you exhaust yourself, you\u2019re running on two cylinders instead of four, making reaching your goals way harder than it has to be.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>The difference between reflecting and judging<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you don\u2019t hit a goal, is it important to be self-reflective? Yes. Is it helpful to judge yourself? Not at all. It\u2019s one thing to look at your actions and decide what could\u2019ve been done to support your goals. For example, if you were trying to reach $50,000 in revenue this month, but you weren\u2019t working with a system, then you can confidently say that designing a system would likely have supported you in reaching your goals. That realization and reflection then gives you action steps to take immediately that can help you get better results next time. However, judging sets you up for failure.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you judge yourself for not reaching a goal, you make some part of yourself, your actions, or your effort wrong. That adds shame to the mix, and shame is the toxic sludge of goal attainment. If you\u2019re experiencing shame while going after your goals, you\u2019re setting yourself up to fail.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Shame compromises your ability to make the strongest decisions possible. Not to mention, shame is a labor-intensive emotion. Similar to having too many tabs open on your computer running in the background and draining your battery, this happens with heavy emotions in our bodies.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So how do you tell the difference between reflecting and judging? There are a few tricks. Reflecting will focus on actions, outcomes, and circumstances. It takes you as a human (and your worth) out of the equation. Judging, however, attacks you personally and tells you how YOU were wrong in the situation or how you weren\u2019t worthy of the outcome you desired.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another quick check is in your body. Reflection feels lighter than judging. Judging has a heaviness to it that settles in and doesn\u2019t feel good. Reflecting, however, feels lighter and washes over (not through) you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>Protecting yourself from the judgment beast<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keeping yourself out of judgment is a mental and emotional discipline that may take some time, but once you\u2019ve got it in your body and brain, it will run on autopilot. This means setting up a two-part system: an accelerator and a filter.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your accelerator consists of the practices you engage in to build yourself up, own your worth, and feel empowered. The filter is the process you use to catch thoughts that are running off the rails, such as:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Life doesn\u2019t work for me<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I never hit my goals<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Business is just harder for me than it is for other people<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you have a practice in place to catch those thoughts, stop, and rewrite them, then you can create a mindset that supports your goals. For example, if you notice the thought, \u201cI should\u2019ve worked harder and maybe then I would\u2019ve reached my goal,\u201d maybe that needs to be examined and rewritten as, \u201cI worked hard, but perhaps I could have been more efficient. Maybe I need a system to support my effort.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The truth is, the more you create supportive thought processes, the easier it will be to reach your goals. When you stop gaslighting yourself and let go of the judgment, it\u2019s easier for your body to use your energy more efficiently to reach your goals. When you have less resistance in your body from heavier emotional labor, your efficiency will go through the roof, and you will hit your goals more often.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How many times have you set a goal that required a quantum leap or felt like a stretch, and then you missed it? You\u2019re not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2411,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2410","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-success"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2410","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2410"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2410\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2411"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2410"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2410"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2410"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}