{"id":2519,"date":"2023-05-16T21:55:51","date_gmt":"2023-05-17T01:55:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/diffusing-your-emotional-triggers-insights-from-rhea-lalla\/"},"modified":"2023-05-16T21:55:51","modified_gmt":"2023-05-17T01:55:51","slug":"diffusing-your-emotional-triggers-insights-from-rhea-lalla","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/diffusing-your-emotional-triggers-insights-from-rhea-lalla\/","title":{"rendered":"Diffusing Your Emotional Triggers: Insights From Rhea Lalla"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Do you ever feel like your emotions are on a roller coaster ride that you didn\u2019t sign up for? One minute you\u2019re cruising through your day, and the next you\u2019re triggered by something that sends you spiraling.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Emotional triggers are those pesky things that can derail us in a heartbeat. But there are ways to keep them in line. Here\u2019s what you need to know:<\/p>\n<p>No one deserves our emotional outbursts. But as you get better at knowing how to handle your triggers, there\u2019s so much more happiness waiting on the other side.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-are-emotional-triggers\">What Are Emotional Triggers?<\/h2>\n<p>A trigger is something that sparks an emotional response. Simply put, it\u2019s <em>\u201ca throwback to an archaic trauma that feels like it\u2019s happening in the present,\u201d<\/em> <strong>Rhea Lalla<\/strong>, conscious parenting and relationship coach, explains on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcast.mindvalley.com\/how-to-diffuse-triggers-and-traumas-in-yourself-and-in-others-rhea-lalla\/\">The Mindvalley Show<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>When someone cuts in front of you without so much as an apology, you may react in rage. Or when your child is crying, you may angrily tell them to \u201c<em>stop being a baby<\/em>.\u201d Or when your coworker can\u2019t stop yapping while you\u2019re on a deadline, you may go all \u201cKaren\u201d on them.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>These are all examples of emotional triggers. And the unfortunate thing is, they all come with dire consequences.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-where-do-they-come-from\">Where Do They Come From?<\/h2>\n<p>Emotional triggers are like little landmines that we\u2019re often unaware of until they explode in our faces. But why do they happen, and what impact do they have on us?<\/p>\n<p>Generally speaking, they can be caused by anything from past traumas to present stressors. They can take many different forms, including words, actions, or even smells. When triggered, we may experience different <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/types-of-emotions\/\">types of emotions<\/a>, from anger to sadness to fear.<\/p>\n<p>And <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ptsd.va.gov\/understand\/what\/trauma_triggers.asp\">studies<\/a> say it too: when a traumatic or disturbing event occurs in our lives, our psyche gets triggered by certain external stimuli. Further on in life, an outside \u201cstressor\u201d that may resemble a moment of trauma from the past can activate parts of our mind that haven\u2019t been healed.<\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1456\" height=\"816\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/8b5bdfb2-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo.webp\" alt=\"Man looking up at the sky\" class=\"wp-image-67200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/8b5bdfb2-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo.webp 1456w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/8b5bdfb2-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo-768x430.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/8b5bdfb2-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo-540x304.webp 540w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/8b5bdfb2-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo-442x249.webp 442w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1456px) 100vw, 1456px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-examples-of-triggers\">Examples of Triggers<\/h2>\n<p>Triggers can take many shapes and forms. They can fire you up immediately or just appear as background noise.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a list of emotional triggers that are common for most people:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Rejection of any kind<\/li>\n<li>Disapproval<\/li>\n<li>Speaking in a louder tone of voice<\/li>\n<li>Loud noise<\/li>\n<li>Feeling blamed<\/li>\n<li>Criticism of any kind<\/li>\n<li>Feeling abandoned<\/li>\n<li>Not feeling heard and seen<\/li>\n<li>Not <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/not-good-enough\/\">feeling good enough<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>For example, think of someone who grew up with emotionally unavailable parents. They can grow up to be highly successful and put together, but get triggered when their partner doesn\u2019t return their calls.<\/p>\n<p>In situations like these, it\u2019s never about the actual gravity of the moment but rather the fundamental familiar feeling that\u2019s being reactivated.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-common-triggers-for-parents\">Common triggers for parents<\/h3>\n<p>While each parent is unique in their reactions to certain situations, some triggers seem common for most parents:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Relentless crying<\/li>\n<li>Constant whining<\/li>\n<li>Incessant tantrums<\/li>\n<li>Passive resistance or disobedience<\/li>\n<li>Fighting among siblings<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In the podcast episode, Rhea explains, <em>\u201cAny time we withdraw, we feel hurt, we feel <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/calm-an-angry-person\/\"><em>angry,<\/em><\/a><em> we feel unsafe or insecure\u2014it tells us that we have a wound that needs to be healed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Parents tend to forget that children are still figuring out their big emotions. (Heck, we, as adults, often have that problem, too.)<\/p>\n<p>So instead of being calm and supportive, they sometimes respond with irritation, exasperation, anger, or rage.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>More than likely, these reactions are their defense mechanisms to lessen our emotional discomfort.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-are-emotional-triggers-important\">Are Emotional Triggers Important?<\/h2>\n<p>The sense of self-regulation isn\u2019t innate; it\u2019s a learned skill. And being able to pick up on them gives you the opportunity to deal with them early, which then brings about good emotional health.<\/p>\n<p>Take Vishen, for example. He shared a time when there was a particularly scary situation, and he was told not to cry.<em> \u201cAn older person in my family yelled at me for crying and told me that I was behaving like a baby,\u201d<\/em> he recollects.<\/p>\n<p>That childhood trauma planted the notion in his mind that crying equals weakness.<em> \u201cEvery time I cried, even if it was something worth crying for, like a death of a loved one, as an adult male, I felt that I wasn\u2019t being a man,\u201d<\/em> he adds. <em>\u201cSo I suppressed my emotions for the longest time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Traumatic events, unfortunately, are not uncommon. A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/washington\/testimony\/2019\/t20190711.htm\">2019 report<\/a> on childhood trauma by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that more than 60% of American adults experienced at least one adverse childhood experience\u2014abuse, neglect, and all other potentially traumatic experiences\u2014in their youth.<\/p>\n<p>Now, while being triggered emotionally may not be ideal, it gives you cues that something has rocked the boat.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>As a result, it can help you better understand how to:\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Cut through generational trauma,\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Create healthy, authentic connections with people around you, and\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>What you need to do to lead a healthy and happy life.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-identify-your-own-emotional-triggers\">How to Identify Your Own Emotional Triggers<\/h2>\n<p>As the saying goes, <em>\u201cknowing is half the battle.\u201d<\/em> When you\u2019re open to identifying your triggers, you\u2019re in a much better position to bring your consciousness to the present moment instead of reverting back to the traumatic event.<\/p>\n<p>Rhea suggests writing down your top three emotional triggers. What things make you most upset and throw you off balance?<\/p>\n<p>Once you get a good insight into those triggers, you can use them as a springboard to understand yourself better and choose a conscious response.<\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1450\" height=\"812\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/92befb7b-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-01-midjourney-seo.webp\" alt=\"Woman in nature and learning how to deal with her emotional triggers\" class=\"wp-image-67199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/92befb7b-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-01-midjourney-seo.webp 1450w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/92befb7b-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-01-midjourney-seo-768x430.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/05\/92befb7b-emotional-triggers-mindvalley-blog-01-midjourney-seo-442x249.webp 442w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1450px) 100vw, 1450px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-tips-on-how-to-deal-with-emotional-triggers\">5 Tips on How to Deal With Emotional Triggers<\/h2>\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing: It\u2019s not the situation that causes our emotional triggers. It\u2019s our thoughts about the situation that do so.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, intrusive thoughts and memories can come flooding in at any given trigger, according to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/books\/NBK207201\/pdf\/Bookshelf_NBK207201.pdf\">trauma-informed care protocol<\/a> of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The good news is, Rhea, in her conversation with Vishen, shares how to manage emotional triggers with some powerful self-regulating practices you can do. Here\u2019s a brief summary of that:<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-notice-your-body-s-reactions\">1. Notice your body\u2019s reactions<\/h3>\n<p>Our body has a defense mechanism when it senses that we may be or are in danger\u2014it\u2019s known as the \u201cfight or flight response.\u201d It causes us to shut down and conserve energy.<\/p>\n<p>So with trauma, our bodies can react in physical ways, such as with muscle tension, headaches, an upset stomach, or even fatigue.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cYour body is going to give you an indicator that \u2018I\u2019m feeling triggered right now.\u2019 And you want to be able to catch it before you say a whole bunch of things that create a whole bunch of mess that you have to clean up.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-name-the-trigger\">2. Name the trigger<\/h3>\n<p>More often than not, those who have trouble making sense of their emotions end up being slaves to them. Naming your trigger is about understanding what you\u2019re feeling and why you\u2019re feeling it. It\u2019ll help you make sense of the emotion you\u2019re feeling.<\/p>\n<p>There is scientific evidence that supports labeling your emotions as well. This <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4721564\/\">2018 study<\/a> suggests that turning your feelings and emotions into words will decrease the emotional charge surrounding the experience itself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cThe mere fact of naming [your trigger] takes you out of your amygdala-hijack reptile brain and into the here-now. So you\u2019re literally going from your earliest brain to your higher-thinking brain simply by naming it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-own-your-feelings\">3. Own your feelings<\/h3>\n<p>Our minds have a way of rejecting uncomfortable feelings like sadness, guilt, or fear. But suppressing your emotions may lead you down a dark alley.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, practice accepting your feelings without judgment. It\u2019ll help improve your emotional regulation and balance as well as lead to fewer mood swings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cMake sure that you\u2019re not doing any shame, blame, or make wrong for whatever feeling you\u2019re feeling.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-give-yourself-some-space\">4. Give yourself some space<\/h3>\n<p>Reactive responses can get out of control and turn destructive, possibly leading to tension in your relationship with your children. Regardless of what causes you to be emotionally triggered, it\u2019s how you handle it that matters most.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>One of the tips the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.apa.org\/topics\/anger\/control\">American Psychological Association<\/a> recommends, particularly when you get angry, is to give yourself a break. It suggests scheduling some personal time, especially when you\u2019re stressed out.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cYou might want to take a little time out for yourself so that you can be able to regroup and go through the completion of that sine wave of the feeling.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-regulate-your-nervous-system\">5. Regulate your nervous system<\/h3>\n<p>We can\u2019t really control our feelings or the thoughts that pop into our heads. However, we can control what we do with them. That\u2019s the basis of self-regulation\u2014it allows you to manage your emotions and behaviors before acting on them.<\/p>\n<p>But as previously mentioned, self-regulation isn\u2019t an innate skill. It\u2019s something that we learn (or should learn) from our own parents.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If we got hurt in any way, they\u2019d help us calm our nervous system and make sense of the confusing, baffling experience. And as we move into adulthood, we\u2019ll have that skill to understand what to do when we get hurt and how to calm ourselves down.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cYou want to be able to regulate your nervous system, so this is where you\u2019re using all the tools that you\u2019ve amassed. And if you don\u2019t feel you have good tools, then now\u2019s the time to start building them on.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-7-be-aware-of-your-self-talk\">7. Be aware of your self-talk<\/h3>\n<p>Self-talk is your internal monologue, made up of a combination of your conscious thoughts and your beliefs and biases. The words you use have a powerful impact on your mind and can change the way you feel about anything, including yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Talking to yourself as you\u2019d talk to your best friend is one simple practice you can incorporate into your life. What kind of words would you tell your best friend about their looks, reactions, or feelings? Would these words be critical and condescending? Or rather kind and supportive?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cMake sure you have a very supportive inner voice that is advocating for you, that is reminding you of your magnificence, that is reaffirming to you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-8-look-at-things-from-different-perspectives\">8. Look at things from different perspectives<\/h3>\n<p>While self-talk is about the internal, perspective is about the external.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Looking at things from the perspective of other people challenges you to respond rationally and calmly. And understanding their perspective reduces the chance of conflict.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cPerspective taking can allow [you] to look at what this person\u2019s intentions are and then, now, recognize, \u2018Okay, I got triggered by what they said, but I\u2019m bringing something to this story. I\u2019m creating a story here.\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-9-seek-the-source-of-the-trigger\">9. Seek the source of the trigger<\/h3>\n<p>Like getting medicine to treat a physical symptom, it will only solve what\u2019s on the surface. It\u2019s possible for those symptoms to arise again or get worse.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>But the problem derives from somewhere. So to solve it, first find its source. Ask yourself where the trigger comes from, what story you\u2019re telling yourself, and what belief you\u2019re holding on to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cSeek the source, like track the trigger\u2019s origin. My advice to everybody would be to know yourself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-10-seek-help-from-a-coach-or-therapist\">10. Seek help from a coach or therapist<\/h3>\n<p>A professional coach or therapist can help guide you down a path of healing. Using coping tools and strategies, they\u2019ll help you address your traumas and emotional triggers with a greater degree of awareness so that you\u2019ll be more resilient to future challenges.<\/p>\n<p>Learning emotional regulation tools may be incredibly helpful on your journey, but professional guidance may just be what you need to speed up the process and process any unresolved emotional issues.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> <em>\u201cIf there\u2019s some particular trauma that you want to work through, seek some coaching with a therapist or a coach so that you can work through these feelings.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Learn more about how to master your emotional triggers by listening to the full Mindvalley Show episode:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe style=\"border-radius:12px\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/0xl5vU3zhPO6aAmv4dX9Vk?utm_source=generator&amp;theme=0\" width=\"100%\" height=\"352\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-emotional-mastery-starts-with-you\">Emotional Mastery Starts With You<\/h2>\n<p>Triggers can throw you off balance and make you feel out of control. And even when it feels like a never-ending ride to sail the waters of your emotional world, know that you don\u2019t have to be alone along the way.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re looking for a little guidance on your journey, Mindvalley may hold the answers you\u2019re looking for. You can find transformational quests packed full of wisdom and powerful insights.<\/p>\n<p>And by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/signup?utm_source=blog_inline_link&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_freemium&amp;utm_medium=end_of_article&amp;otag=mv_blog_freemium\"><strong>claiming your free access<\/strong><\/a> today, you can explore a bit of this magic and see how it changes your life with Quests such as:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><em>Tapping Into Emotional Mastery<\/em><\/strong><em> <\/em>with Jennifer Partridge. You can explore how to use the emotional freedom technique (EFT) to tap away your triggers.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><em>Conscious Parenting Mastery<\/em><\/strong><strong> <\/strong>with Dr. Shefali Tsbary. Learn how to deal with your emotional triggers effectively as a parent.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><em>Magical Living <\/em><\/strong>with Tim Storey. Create your conscious life by understanding the \u201cmagic\u201d tools behind making your dreams come true.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And besides impactful programs to transform your life, you\u2019ll find a whole library of podcasts and guided meditations to inspire your growth and help release any mental tension and blockages.<\/p>\n<p>The change you\u2019ve been expecting might be just around the corner. Don\u2019t be afraid to start looking for it.<\/p>\n<p>Welcome in.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever feel like your emotions are on a roller coaster ride that you didn\u2019t sign up for? One minute you\u2019re cruising through your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2520,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happiness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2519","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2519"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2519\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2520"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2519"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2519"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2519"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}