{"id":2615,"date":"2023-05-24T00:47:07","date_gmt":"2023-05-24T04:47:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/finding-the-balance-for-an-authentic-life\/"},"modified":"2023-05-24T00:47:07","modified_gmt":"2023-05-24T04:47:07","slug":"finding-the-balance-for-an-authentic-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/finding-the-balance-for-an-authentic-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding the Balance for an Authentic Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

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Self-love and self-care have both found their way into the mainstream, and for good reason. They help us live our best lives.<\/p>\n

While they work in tandem, more often than not, there\u2019s confusion between self-love vs. self-care.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cSelf-care is about surviving, while self-love is about thriving<\/em>,\u201d explains Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani<\/strong>, co-founder of Mindvalley, in her book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life<\/em>.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re aware of which one is which, you\u2019ll have a clearer understanding of your needs and how to best take care of them. And here\u2019s where you can start:<\/p>\n

As author Katrina Mayer says, \u201cLoving yourself isn\u2019t vanity; it\u2019s sanity<\/em>.\u201d So give yourself the space to practice self-love and self-care; you may just find so much beauty, awe, and wonder that you never knew existed.<\/p>\n

Self-Love vs. Self-Care: What\u2019s the Difference?<\/h2>\n

Self-love? Self-care? Pshhh\u2026<\/em> Same difference.\u00a0<\/p>\n

One would think so, right? After all, both help us better ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But to say they\u2019re one and the same is like saying apples and oranges are the same thing (when they\u2019re clearly different).\u00a0<\/p>\n

When it comes to self-love vs. self-care, one is about loving yourself, while the other is about taking care of yourself. And to give you a better understanding of each, let\u2019s explore deeper into what they are separately.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What is self-love?<\/h3>\n

The concept of self-love<\/a> is a lot of things mixed into one\u2014being kind to yourself<\/a>, providing yourself with some compassion, and treating yourself with respect. And above all else, it\u2019s about accepting and embracing all that is good about you as well as all the bad.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is a relationship, not just an act of service<\/em>,\u201d says Kristina in her book. That requires you to hear, understand, soothe, cry, laugh, play, and hold\u2014all the things you need for a healthy relationship, especially one with yourself.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like that verse from the Corinthians: \u201cLove is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude<\/em>.\u201d While most will take that as love for another, it\u2019s also applicable to self-love. Because that\u2019s what it is, really\u2014valuing your own worth and learning how to be authentic<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cLoving yourself is a skill you have to master if you want to live a happy life<\/em>,\u201d Kristina adds. \u201cBecause self-love is the beginning of true transformation<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

What is self-care?<\/h3>\n

Self-care is basically giving yourself some TLC. It\u2019s like a big ol\u2019 hug you give yourself as a way to say, \u201cThanks for being awesome<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

And there are endless ways to do things for yourself that make you feel good. For example, reading a good book or perfectly imperfect quotes<\/a>, making a good cup of coffee, or even just putting on your favorite sweatpants and Netflix-ing it up for the night.<\/p>\n

But is self-care an act of self-love? It is to a certain extent.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Doing activities in all the different areas of your life is a way of showing yourself that you\u2019re worthy of care and attention. However, self-care doesn\u2019t equal self-love.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo amount of self-care can compensate for the lack of self-love<\/em>,\u201d Kristina explains. \u201cYou can be in excellent physical shape because you exercise vigorously, eat healthy, sleep well, take time for meditation, walks in nature, and massage, you can pamper yourself with spa treatments and occasional shopping and do all the proper rituals of self-care, but none of it adds much to how you actually feel about yourself deep inside<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

That said, knowing how to take care of yourself is still important. So much so that practicing self-care on the regular can reduce your stress levels and improve your mental health, according to a 2014 study<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And when you feel good, you\u2019re better able to handle all the stuff life throws at you.<\/p>\n

What Does Self-Love vs. Self-Care Look Like?<\/h2>\n

So self-love is about accepting yourself, flaws and all. Self-care is taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If it\u2019s as simple as that, why do people confuse self-care vs. self-love? It\u2019s a topic Kristina gets into in Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life<\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cOften, when we talk about self-love, we actually mean self-care<\/em>,\u201d she explains. \u201cA lot of self-love rituals and practices mix up love for oneself with taking care of one\u2019s mind and body<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

So what do self-love and self-care look like? Here\u2019s a side-by-side comparison of the two:<\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Aspect<\/strong><\/td>\nSelf-Love<\/strong><\/td>\nSelf-Care<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Focus<\/td>\nInternal<\/td>\nExternal<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Purpose<\/td>\nIncrease self-acceptance<\/td>\nEnhance overall well-being<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Examples<\/td>\nPracticing self-compassion, setting boundaries, accepting and embracing your flaws<\/td>\nExercise, healthy eating, meditation, therapy<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Benefits<\/td>\nBetter emotional well-being<\/td>\nBetter physical, mental, and emotional health<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Time Frame<\/td>\nOngoing<\/td>\nDaily or weekly<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/figure>\n

Look at it this way: If you had a baby, you\u2019d wash, feed, clothe, and teach them. These are all aspects of care.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Then you also are present when they\u2019re showing you something, you show empathy and compassion when they\u2019re having a rough day, and you give them advice when they\u2019re in need of it. These are all aspects of love.<\/p>\n

While they\u2019re separate entities, self-love and self-care go together like avocado and toast. They just make each other better.<\/p>\n

By taking care of yourself, you show yourself love. And when you practice self-love, you create a foundation for practicing self-care.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a beautiful blend of self-improvement and self-acceptance that can help you live your best life.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Kristina
Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani, author of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

How to Love Yourself: 3 Tips From Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani<\/h2>\n

Happiness seems to be many people\u2019s final destination in life. But in actuality, happiness is an experience that happens many times along the journey.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So how can you enjoy it as it\u2019s meant to be? Step one, learn to love yourself first. And Kristina has some incredibly powerful tips that can help.<\/p>\n

1. Be honest with yourself<\/h3>\n

We all lie to ourselves, according to Kristina, and we\u2019re often unaware of it. That\u2019s okay as long as you\u2019re honest about not being honest.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So in order to love yourself, you need to really know who you are and what you stand for. It means acknowledging your feelings, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, and accepting yourself as you are. It\u2019s the essence, really, of being honest with yourself<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Doing so helps tone down the levels of stress and anxiety, which, as you may already know, leads to greater well-being. One study<\/a> shows that when you self-reflect and are honest with yourself about your thoughts and feelings, you\u2019re more likely to feel happier and more satisfied with your life.<\/p>\n

\u201cHonesty is a sharp weapon,\u201d says Kristina. \u201cAnd you have to learn to use it properly before you start wielding it.\u201d<\/p>\n

How you can be honest with yourself:<\/strong> One great tool is to start journaling. Write down what you think would be the best version of yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Be brutally honest about every nook and cranny of what you think the perfect you would be. Be bold about it.<\/p>\n

And in that dig for what you really want for yourself, you may just find the person inside is someone different than who you know. They may just be the exact person you\u2019re looking for.<\/p>\n

2. Show yourself kindness<\/h3>\n

Life can be challenging at times, so it\u2019ll do you some good to cut out the self-criticism. Research<\/a> has even shown that showing yourself kindness and compassion can do wonders for your life satisfaction and happiness.<\/p>\n

As Kristina points out in her book, there\u2019s magic in kindness, and you can be kind in certain situations where love can\u2019t be expressed.<\/p>\n

For example, you can be kind to someone, but you don\u2019t have to necessarily love them, like an ex, a bully, or strangers on the street. You don\u2019t even have to respect them. Or even truly care. But you can still be kind.<\/p>\n

And that goes the same for self-compassion<\/a>.<\/p>\n

How you can show yourself kindness:<\/strong> Being present opens the way for kindness and acceptance toward yourself. As you become more aware of your own needs and feelings, you can respond to them in a caring and nurturing way.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are the person who\u2019s the most important in your life<\/em>,\u201d says Kristina in her Mindvalley Quest. \u201cYou have to treat yourself with kindness<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

One way to practice this is through loving-kindness meditation<\/a>, where you focus specifically on compassion for yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

3. Have the courage to live an authentic life<\/h3>\n

\u201cAuthenticity\u201d is one of those buzzwords floating around\u2014not everyone really understands its true meaning, yet it\u2019s being sprinkled around in conversations like confetti.<\/p>\n

So what exactly is it? It\u2019s not about being honest. It\u2019s not about being perfect. Nor is it about pretending to be someone you\u2019re not.<\/p>\n

\u201cAuthenticity is your relationship with yourself<\/em>,\u201d Kristina explains. \u201cThere is only you and no external object; no one but you to exert the force towards<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Simply put, it\u2019s about having the courage to own who you are\u2014quirks, imperfections, weirdness, and all.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Even science has proof to back up the goodness of being authentic. According to a published study<\/a> in the Journal of Positive Psychology<\/em>, people who own their authenticity experience less anxiety and depression, which in turn leads to greater psychological well-being.<\/p>\n

And as you learn how to embrace the very essence of who you are, you\u2019ll likely find that you\u2019re no longer hiding behind a fa\u00e7ade or pleasing others at the expense of your own happiness.<\/p>\n

How you can live an authentic life: <\/strong>There\u2019s a certain level of self-awareness<\/a> that comes with being authentic. It\u2019s internal, as Kristina explains in her book, adding that it\u2019s \u201cthe resulting state of healing your most important relationship\u2014your relationship with yourself<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

So identify what\u2019s important to you, don\u2019t be afraid to speak up and share your thoughts, avoid trying too hard<\/a> to be like others, and\u2014of course\u2014practice self-care. It\u2019s the combination of all these elements that allows you to live life as your authentic self. And to shine in the glory of your flawesomeness.<\/p>\n

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\"Man<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

(Self-)Love Makes Your World Go \u2018Round<\/h2>\n

Take a moment to appreciate yourself. Okay, maybe not just one moment. Take moments<\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Just like putting on your oxygen mask first before helping others on a flight, showing up for yourself in all your flawesomeness allows you to be your best self for others.<\/p>\n

After all, this is your life, and no one else is living it but you. It\u2019s not selfish to practice self-love; on the contrary, it\u2019s essential.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And if you\u2019re curious to learn more about yourself, you can dive in deeper with Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani in her book Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Now, go forth and spread the love\u2014starting with yourself.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Profit<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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