{"id":2831,"date":"2023-06-08T13:34:56","date_gmt":"2023-06-08T17:34:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/let-go-of-fear-and-learn-to-be-intentional\/"},"modified":"2023-06-08T13:34:56","modified_gmt":"2023-06-08T17:34:56","slug":"let-go-of-fear-and-learn-to-be-intentional","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/let-go-of-fear-and-learn-to-be-intentional\/","title":{"rendered":"Let Go of Fear and Learn to Be Intentional"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
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Note: This is a guest post from Sarah Horgan of Simple + Intentional<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u201cIntentional days create a life on purpose.\u201d<\/em> \u2014Adrienne Enns<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t grow up knowing how to be intentional<\/a>. I don\u2019t think I even knew what the word meant. In fact, I was completely unintentional about most of the decisions I made in life, if I made any at all.<\/p>\n

Maybe, as you\u2019re reading this, you can relate. Or perhaps you had the opposite, someone driving the bus in your life. Making a lot of decisions for you with certain goals in mind? Wanting the best for you but taking control instead of involving you in the process.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll go to law school, make lots of money so you can buy a big house. Get married, have kids and on and on and on. And maybe, you even achieved those goals but they felt empty. Not lining up with who YOU are.<\/p>\n

These two stories are ones I hear again and again. Either life just sort of happened to you or there were some serious goals set in place but they weren\u2019t YOUR goals. The desire to please others over ourselves, do or appear in a way that is like-able or achieve success that we think will bring us happiness sets a path. Neither one of which was an intentional one.<\/p>\n

Fear isn\u2019t the root of an intentional life<\/strong><\/h4>\n

I\u2019m the first one. I had little guidance, any decisions I made were left entirely up to me and were rooted in wanting others to be proud of me. I hadn\u2019t developed the skill of thinking forward or digging deep into what I really wanted. Beyond security. Fear was my number one driver. Seek comfort, seek security, find safety, chase love, you\u2019ll be okay.<\/p>\n

But fear is not the root of growth. It\u2019s not a place to create a life from. It weighs you down, keeps you stuck. And it took getting diagnosed with stage 4 cancer to start to shake me out of it.<\/p>\n

It was with that diagnosis that I began to understand some big ideas that changed my life.<\/p>\n

Perfect + Nice<\/strong><\/h4>\n

I had long identified as a perfectionist<\/a>. Prided myself on being a \u2018nice\u2019 person, well liked. But what I hadn\u2019t dug into was the realization that perfectionism isn\u2019t actually a good thing. Nor is people pleasing.<\/p>\n

I looked at it like I was setting a high bar, having high standards isn\u2019t a bad thing, right? And of course I want to be nice! But the problem with both of those things is they detract from an ability to live intentionally and be yourself.<\/p>\n

Living involves taking action. And perfectionism is the biggest roadblock to action because nothing will ever be perfect. So we fail to launch when we\u2019re never happy with what we create. And people pleasing puts other\u2019s feelings and needs before our own. It\u2019s a hustle for acceptance that never ends.<\/p>\n

Take a moment and think, what haven\u2019t<\/em> you done because of perfectionism and people pleasing?<\/p>\n