{"id":3492,"date":"2023-07-27T04:10:16","date_gmt":"2023-07-27T08:10:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/9-ways-to-get-less-haters-and-more-fans-in-business\/"},"modified":"2023-07-27T04:10:16","modified_gmt":"2023-07-27T08:10:16","slug":"9-ways-to-get-less-haters-and-more-fans-in-business","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/9-ways-to-get-less-haters-and-more-fans-in-business\/","title":{"rendered":"9 Ways to Get Less Haters and More Fans in Business"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
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How is it, that even though we may have competitors who are far less intelligent, capable and competent than us, have raging success and a tribe of dedicated followers who simply adore them \u2013 and we don\u2019t? \u00a0The difference is, that they have realised that people buy \u2018us\u2019 \u2013 not our products and services. \u00a0People buy who we are BEING, not what we are DOING.<\/span><\/p>\n

The secret is in the\u00a0<\/span>way<\/span>\u00a0we build our networks<\/a> and in particular, HOW we make those people FEEL about themselves when we communicate with them (directly or indirectly).<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a well known story about\u00a0Jennie Jerome, who was Winston Churchill\u2019s mother. \u00a0When she was asked about having dinner with two men (Gladstone and Disraeli), she said \u2013<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that\u00a0<\/span><\/i>I<\/i><\/b>\u00a0was the cleverest woman in England.\u201d<\/span><\/i>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Guess who won the hearts of the nation during this time?<\/span><\/p>\n

As experts in our field, it is important for us to lead with authority. \u00a0Afterall, weak leaders have a weak following. \u00a0However,\u00a0<\/span>how<\/i><\/b>\u00a0we make people feel when we are leading with authority is something we must pay very careful attention to if we wish to be a leader that is liked. \u00a0For Edupreneurs, getting this balance right can be a real challenge, as the very reason the majority of our audience come to us, is because they are seeking skills and knowledge from us \u2013 but if we communicate that in a manner that makes our students feel ignorant, incompetent and of lesser significance than us, we immediately lose their business AND our reputation.<\/span><\/p>\n

We have all modelled what \u2018leadership\u2019 is based on that which we have been directly exposed to, or been led like others. \u00a0Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t always a good thing. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but I can think of teachers, kids club leaders and bosses in my past who not only crushed every ounce of soul in my body, but also made me feel nothing but hatred, disgust and utter repulsion towards them. \u00a0Can you? \u00a0Would you call these people \u2018leaders worth following?\u2019. I think not.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a real life example, very recently I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a public status of a stranger. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Their status was about how they were thinking of creating an\u00a0<\/span>online course<\/span><\/a>\u00a0\u2013 my absolute passion. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Naturally, I saw an opportunity to help and offered some advice for online course creation. \u00a0What happened next was nothing short of shocking.<\/span><\/p>\n

The response to my advice and freely given support was to be mocked, sworn at and abused, not just by the person who had written the status about creating a course, but by a number of her friends too. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Turns out this person had created online courses before so totally knew what she was doing \u2013 on account of that, my advice was a bit like serving her up a big fat plate of lemons to suck on. \u00a0**Awkward**.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, do you think her response made me want to do business with her? To give my money to her? and importantly to be led by her?<\/span><\/p>\n

About as much as I\u2019d like to perform a lobotomy on myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even worse than just losing just me as a customer, because her post was public, my commenting on it meant that it showed up in MY newsfeed for all of my thousands of friends and followers to see too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Within minutes my inbox \u2013 as well as groups that I am a member of \u2013 were plagued by connections of mine who had seen the response to my freely given support \u2013 let\u2019s just say that none of them are going to turn into her customers either. \u00a0OUCH.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because people buy\u00a0<\/span>who you are being<\/b>, not\u00a0<\/span>what work you are doing<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

I tell this story because it is very important for us as leaders and educators and people who are aspiring to become authorities in our industry that we must be very aware that\u00a0<\/span>who we are being<\/i><\/b>\u00a0is more important than\u00a0<\/span>what<\/i><\/b>\u00a0work we are doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Every time we speak and communicate with others online we are building our brand.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our brand is who we are.<\/b><\/p>\n

Our brand is how people feel when they communicate with us.<\/b><\/p>\n

If we want to become successful industry leaders, if we want to build a following of people that like us and buy from us consistently; if we want people to share our work, celebrate our successes and encourage others to follow us too, then we must be very aware of who we are being \u2013 because people by us, they don\u2019t buy what we sell.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was recently in attendance at what can only be described as quite a life-changing conference in San Diego in October organised by Cole Hatter and his family. \u00a0Thrive had 26 of the world\u2019s most incredible leaders and speakers.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the speakers, Jordan Harbinger talked about this very point in his talk, which was called \u201c<\/span>People Buy You<\/span><\/i>\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some of the key things that I pulled out from Jordan\u2019s talk and interpreted in my own way, that as educators, Edupreneurs and leaders, we must never forget if we would like to be successful and loved along the way:<\/span><\/p>\n

Need a book launch to go well?<\/span><\/p>\n

Want your blog post shared?<\/span><\/p>\n

Want to build partnerships with people with huge lists?<\/span><\/p>\n

Want to get connected to an influencer?<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever it is that you are looking for is much easier to obtain when you know someone, who knows someone. That\u2019s a fact.<\/span><\/p>\n

The thing is, how can you expect people to do you any kind of favours, if they don\u2019t like you?<\/span><\/p>\n

I have found in my 11 years in business, from my own experiences trying to build my profile from nothing, and from many who have contacted me to ask for my help when they\u2019ve just started out; I can categorically say that help is not handed to you based on how many people you know, or how many people are on your list, or how influential you are.<\/span><\/p>\n

Help is handed to you based on whether you\u2019re a nice person or not.<\/b><\/p>\n

Help his handed to you because you are genuine, kind, considerate, enthusiastic and clearly willing to help those individuals back if they ever needed a favour returned.<\/span><\/p>\n

I see so many business owners and entrepreneurs who are using the excuse that they have no money, that they have no connections, that they have no list as the reason why they are not yet successful or the reason why they are not yet putting 100% effort into achieving their dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n

Time and time again I share my story of how going from homeless to having a 7 figure business within 18 months was no lucky strike for me. I had no money, I had no supporters, I had no investors, I didn\u2019t even have a mobile phone \u2013 let alone a phone number to call! \u00a0Jeez, I didn\u2019t even have a HOME! \u00a0Yet I managed to succeed and I put this purely down to the fact that\u00a0<\/span>I was willing to build relationships with people.<\/b><\/p>\n

I was willing to bare my soul and make friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was willing to be helpful and give my time, my friendship and put my hands to use.<\/span><\/p>\n

The saying \u2018<\/span>it\u2019s all about who you know<\/span><\/i>\u2019 is absolutely true. However please keep in mind that it does\u00a0<\/span>not<\/b>\u00a0mean how many \u2018high and influential rich people you know\u2019. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It means \u2018how many relationships\u2019 you have made regardless of their status.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. When you give without expectation, rewards come back tenfold<\/b><\/h2>\n

We\u2019ve all heard the saying that \u2018<\/span>giving is receiving<\/span><\/i>\u2019 and this is very much true in the world of Edupreneurship. You don\u2019t have to have a lot to give, in order to gain a lot back.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can share somebody\u2019s post, you can leave a positive comment, you can recommend them to someone seeking their products or services. You could give them one of your products or services, offer to help them run one of their future events \u00a0\u2013 there are so many ways that you can give to others. \u00a0When you offer unexpectedly without any expectation of reciprocated favours you will be amazed at how far this will stay in the memory of those you helped.<\/span><\/p>\n

Not only does it make you feel good. \u00a0From my own experience, unexpected gifts come back to you especially in the form of love, gratitude and support which to me is the greatest gift of all. No money, position or status can possibly trump the feeling of being loved and liked by others.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Act immediately when opportunities present themselves<\/b><\/h2>\n

For a lot of people, the thought of networking fills them with so much dread that they\u2019d rather knock their own teeth out to see the dentist than go to \u2018networking\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

As human beings anything that is new and unfamiliar instinctively generates fear inside us \u2013 it\u2019s a natural instinctive response to protect us from prospective danger.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is why when we are faced with meeting new people for the first time we can sometimes feel nervous, shy and embarrassed \u2013 because we don\u2019t want people to judge us, think little of us or dislike us. \u00a0Whether we consciously realise it or not, our body releases chemicals to make us feel deterred by that situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

However if we are limiting the relationships and friendships that we\u2019re building, we are directly limiting our success and our potential, so we must learn to push through this fear, discomfort and dislike of networking if we wish to gain formidable success.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Everything in business is about people<\/b><\/h2>\n

People buy people, not products.<\/span><\/p>\n

People follow people, not marketing copy.<\/span><\/p>\n

People love people, not branding and services.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can hide behind your emails and your beautifully designed website all you like, but if you stop building relationships your success will curl up and die.<\/span><\/p>\n

Therefore grab every opportunity that presents itself to build a new relationship you don\u2019t have to go \u2018all out\u2019 to meet up with someone for coffee. \u00a0In fact, I\u2019d go as far as saying be careful about how you are investing your time \u2013 Think wisely about how you build these relationships; a quick phone call, or a few messages in chat thread can be enough to make a friendship start.<\/span><\/p>\n

The only way to make those fear chemicals in our body subside is to show your body that there is nothing to fear \u2013 just new friends that you haven\u2019t made yet to go and meet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Share freely and passionately about what you care about and what you are trying to achieve<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I started my business working in the corporate space (business to business). \u00a0My clients included the federal government, educational institutions and large industry bodies. I started my business at the wise old age of 19 years old and I was a blonde-headed female with a fresh-faced grin from ear to ear.<\/span><\/p>\n

Naturally this meant that I didn\u2019t have that immediate heir of authority when I walked into large corporate boardrooms to present my training proposals. I felt like I had no choice but to be someone that I wasn\u2019t in order to \u2018survive\u2019 and \u2018prove that I could do it\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was stifling oppressive.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I moved through the ebbs and flows of business sometimes high, sometimes low, I felt like I would lose my credibility if I did share any of the lows I went through. \u00a0I was worried that I would look \u2018incompetent\u2019 if I dared share my entrepreneurial challenges and human nature.<\/span><\/p>\n

I worked hard to conceal the cracks and silently suffered as I tried to paint a picture of perfection.<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t notice that as I filtered out all of my failings and only shared my wins and successes in the pure attempt to look \u2018professional\u2019 and \u2018good at my job\u2019, I was actually slowly building a bigger and bigger wall of unapproachability. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The \u2018successes\u2019 that I thought was going to make people feel inspired, just made people feel like I was \u2018<\/span>nothing like them<\/span><\/i>\u2019, \u2018inhuman\u2019 \u2013 even intimidating and egotistical. \u00a0I had no idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then one day, I\u2019d had a particularly bad day in business. \u00a0The Government had unexpectedly retracted a budget that funded almost my entire client base and I lost\u00a0<\/span>everything<\/span><\/i>\u00a0overnight.<\/span><\/p>\n

$2.7million in contracts, my office, 23 staff and a 6 figure tax debt that now couldn\u2019t be paid. \u00a0It sucked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like most level-headed entrepreneurs, my immediate response to this situation was to have a deep and meaningful few weeks with a bottle of wine. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually I ran out of self-pity and with nothing to lose, I decided to share with the world what was going on. \u00a0I held nothing back.<\/span><\/p>\n

I told the shameful, gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, credibility-destroying full story right there on Facebook. \u00a0I don\u2019t know why I did, but I did.<\/span><\/p>\n

The response blew my mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u201cPeople can tell. They know \u2014 maybe consciously, perhaps unconsciously \u2014 if you are truly interested in them or just fakin\u2019 it in order to manipulate or \u201cget something\u201d from them.\u201d \u2014Bob Burg<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The messages of love and support came flooding in. Recognition, acknowledgement and celebration poured in all around me. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It quickly became apparent that my image of perfection and constant success made me look so different from everyone that was around me, that nobody could relate to me at all. Everyone just thought that my life was perfect and that therefore they could not aspire to be me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Since sharing my royal stuff-ups and disasters, my following has grown, my connection with others has increased dramatically, my friendships are endless and the media love having me as a guest \u2013 all because struggle is much easier for people to relate to than constant success.<\/span><\/p>\n

People don\u2019t buy your success, people buy you.<\/span><\/p>\n

To buy you, they need to know who you are; they need to know your story and they need to know that they are like you too.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the greatest components of all of our favourite movies and books is that the hero is the one that is most like us. If we could not relate to the hero then we would not be able to idolize them or aspire to be like them.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have found that the more I share my story \u2013 the highs, the lows the bits in between; the more human I am.<\/span><\/p>\n

Importantly, I found that it doesn\u2019t need to be a great story of some magnificent feat.<\/span><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to have climbed Mount Everest with a goat on your back to be admired by others; you simply have to show that you are human.<\/span><\/p>\n

LOVE, JOY, EXCITEMENT, FEAR, TREPIDATION\u2026. All emotions help you connect with your audience \u2013 allow your audience to \u2018feel\u2019 you by sharing your journey as you go.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be afraid to share your stories \u2013 the good, the bad and the ugly. \u00a0It\u2019s the only way to get everyone cheering with you when the happy ending comes.<\/span><\/p>\n

JOURNAL:<\/b><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. What is your story?<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. How did you get where you are?<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. What challenges have you been through or are you going through?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Do not feel fearful about sharing this with others. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    People buy you \u2013 not what you do.<\/b><\/p>\n

    6. Dig the well before you\u2019re thirsty<\/b><\/h2>\n

    This means creating friendships long before you need anything from them and they will be there for you when you do.<\/span><\/p>\n

    7. Always be generous<\/b><\/h2>\n

    I live by this one as so many people have helped me when I\u2019ve been down on my luck.<\/span><\/p>\n

    I started from scratch like most entrepreneurs and found myself starting from scratch a couple of times after \u2013 there is no way I would have any of what I do today if other people hadn\u2019t shown me such generosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

    I had complete strangers give me a sofa to sleep on, put food in my belly, give me an internet connection to use, even borrow a car.<\/span><\/p>\n

    The generosity shown by these people will never ever be forgotten and when the time comes that they need a favour I would give them everything I have in return.<\/span><\/p>\n

    But this point isn\u2019t just about being generous to those who have helped you \u2013 this is about being generous day in, day out to people you don\u2019t even know, or for no particular reason other than that you have something to give.<\/span><\/p>\n

    I\u2019m not I\u2019m not selective about who I help \u2013 I give my advice freely to those who are long term unemployed and homeless and to multi billionaires.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Give give give give.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Giving makes recipients grateful, thankful, fond of you and also feel like they owe you one back; and you just never know how that reciprocation may unfold.<\/span><\/p>\n

    8. Generosity is the currency of networking<\/b><\/h2>\n

    People only have three things to say about you to others:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. They like you<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. They dislike you<\/span><\/li>\n
    3. They have no idea who you are<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      When you give to others, you are only giving them something to sing your praises about.<\/span><\/p>\n

      9. You must give and ask for help<\/b><\/h2>\n

      A fundamental human need is to feel like we have a purpose; and that often comes from giving, providing and helping others.<\/span><\/p>\n

      You can actually create fans by asking for them help.<\/span><\/p>\n

      When people feel wanted and needed, they feel good.<\/span><\/p>\n

      You will be amazed how many people want to help you if you ask them.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Never be afraid to ask for help, direction, advice and guidance you\u2019ll be amazed at what can come back.<\/span><\/p>\n