{"id":3728,"date":"2023-08-14T06:02:23","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T10:02:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/3-step-method-to-elevate-your-leadership-through-listening\/"},"modified":"2023-08-14T06:02:23","modified_gmt":"2023-08-14T10:02:23","slug":"3-step-method-to-elevate-your-leadership-through-listening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/3-step-method-to-elevate-your-leadership-through-listening\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Step Method to Elevate Your Leadership Through Listening"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div id=\"mvp-content-main\">\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/addicted2success.com\/scale-your-business\/active-listening-key-ingredient-sales-success-stronger-relationships\/\">Listening connects us to others and builds relationships<\/a>. As clinical psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud noted: \u201cWhen we are emotionally and relationally connected to others, stress levels in the brain diminish. Put simply, relationships change brain chemistry.\u201d<\/span><span id=\"more-56175\"\/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In our workplaces, creating these bonds requires listening with empathy: the ability to imagine and understand others\u2019 experiences. Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, used the phrase \u201cempathetic understanding\u201d to describe our capability to understand other people\u2019s thoughts, feelings, and struggles.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As leaders, there\u2019s no doubt we\u2019re willing to listen empathetically. But how do we ensure we\u2019re doing so <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">effectively<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b>A leader\u2019s guide to listening with empathy<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recent research has shown that there\u2019s a proven model leaders can turn to. It\u2019s called active-empathic listening (AEL), and it builds upon the work of Carl Rogers. When employees work with leaders who practice AEL, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/skemman.is\/bitstream\/1946\/19816\/1\/ExaltedRoadtoSilence.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">they report<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> being more satisfied with their work and experience higher overall well-being.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>The first step is sensing \u2013 <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This means being completely attentive and involved in the moment. Sensing is being fully present with your heart, your mind, and your body. It\u2019s positioning yourself to show the other person you\u2019re sensitive to what they\u2019re saying. You listen to what\u2019s being said\u2014and what\u2019s left unsaid.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can accomplish this by:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moving away from your desk and sitting with the person in an approachable setting.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Putting away your phone.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asking your administrative assistant, if you have one, to hold all calls or other interruptions.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Giving the other person your undivided attention.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>The second step is processing \u2013 <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is any attempt on your part to reassure the other person that you are, in fact, listening deeply. You may share direct assurances that you\u2019ll remember what the person says.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can accomplish this in the following ways:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Provide reassurances, such as: \u201cI want to make sure I understand you fully.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Write down notes to show the other person you\u2019re present and working to remember their message.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check for meaning by saying, \u201cTell me more about what you mean when you said\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Acknowledge\u2014and speak out loud\u2014the points of agreement and disagreement between you and the other person: \u201cI see three areas where we seem to agree and one area in which we have a disagreement. What do you think?\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All of these behaviors are designed to show the other person that you\u2019re listening deeply.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>The third step is responding \u2013 <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here, you use your communication skills to acknowledge the other person\u2019s ideas. Responding involves behaviors such as nodding or leaning in. More importantly, it includes actions that demonstrate understanding.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can achieve this by doing the following:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask direct questions to probe and check for understanding: \u201cTell me more about what this means from your perspective.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Restate what the other person has said. For instance, you might say, \u201cIf I heard you correctly, you\u2019re having a difficult time at work. You feel lost about your role, and you need clearer expectations. I can understand how this would be challenging. I think I can help.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cListening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.\u201d \u2013 Dean Jackson<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listening with empathy improves all relationships, from professional associations to close family connections. In a recent interview we conducted for a project on communication and happiness, Amare, a local business leader, shared a story about a powerful moment between herself and a family member.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI had a breakthrough with a family member recently,\u201d Amare said. \u201cFor years, I\u2019d tried to let the past be the past. I thought I\u2019d forgiven this person, but I realized I hadn\u2019t.\u201d She took a moment to collect her thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI was still angry and bitter. I couldn\u2019t let go. I couldn\u2019t say, \u2018OK, I forgive you.\u2019 I wasn\u2019t able to listen to what this person was saying because I was always on the other end thinking, \u2018Well, this is what you did to me,\u2019\u201d she said with force.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then, Amare made an intentional shift. She changed her mindset as a listener. She tried to see, hear, and feel the experience.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amare told the other person, \u201cOK, I\u2019m going to let you tell me. I\u2019m going to take my opinions and my preconceived ideas about what I think you think, and I\u2019m just going to listen to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As she listened, so did her family member.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amare explained that she was finally able to share her honest feelings: \u201cI was completely honest, but not in a way to hurt her, but saying this is truly how I feel.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then the magic happened. Her family member reacted, \u201cOh, I get it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt was the first time she ever really heard me [and] it was the first time I was really able to hear her,\u201d Amare said with relief.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cFrom that time forward,\u201d Amare explained, \u201cour relationship has really changed and evolved, and I don\u2019t feel that anger and bitterness anymore. It\u2019s gone. It feels so good not to be carrying that around, not to have that on my shoulders anymore.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When people listen to one another more deeply, they become more connected. They transcend their perceived differences. \u201cReal communication,\u201d as Carl Rogers explained, \u201coccurs when we listen with understanding. When we listen deeply.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listening connects us to others and builds relationships. As clinical psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud noted: \u201cWhen we are emotionally and relationally connected to others, stress [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3729,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-success"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3728","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3728"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3728\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3729"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3728"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3728"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3728"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}