{"id":5255,"date":"2023-12-05T06:33:56","date_gmt":"2023-12-05T10:33:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/you-cant-help-someone-who-doesnt-want-to-be-helped\/"},"modified":"2023-12-05T06:33:56","modified_gmt":"2023-12-05T10:33:56","slug":"you-cant-help-someone-who-doesnt-want-to-be-helped","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/you-cant-help-someone-who-doesnt-want-to-be-helped\/","title":{"rendered":"You Can\u2019t Help Someone Who Doesn\u2019t Want to Be Helped"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

\n

If you care about someone and see them struggling, it\u2019s only natural that you want to help them. The same can be said for someone with promise, but who\u2019s falling short of their potential. Even though you want to help, your assistance isn\u2019t always welcomed. In fact, it may be met with resistance or rejected out of hand. This often happens because they\u2019re unwilling to admit there\u2019s a problem, reluctant to concede a shortcoming, or they\u2019re so set in their ways<\/a> that they\u2019ve no desire to change. They\u2019d prefer to handle things themself or do nothing at all.<\/p>\n

Your first reaction might be that they\u2019re not thinking clearly or that they\u2019re being unreasonable. But it\u2019s their life to live and their choice to make. Even though they complain about their circumstances, they might not be ready to accept help. Plus, it\u2019s a lot easier to blame others or say there\u2019s nothing they can do about it than to meet the challenge head-on. As Andrew Carnegie, the industrialist and philanthropist, said, \u201cYou cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before they accept assistance, they need to come to the realization that change is required. That often happens in their<\/em> time frame and on their<\/em> terms.<\/p>\n

The fastest way to make an enemy is to offer advice they don\u2019t want to hear.<\/p>\n

The Frustration of Trying to Help Someone Who Resists It<\/h3>\n

So, here\u2019s the bigger problem\u2026<\/p>\n

Even though they refuse help or are unwilling to embrace change, they still want all the trappings of success \u2014 despite the fact that it hasn\u2019t been earned.<\/p>\n

Moreover, instead of making the required investment, sacrifice, and commitment to be successful, they get angry, dig in their heels, and refuse to accept responsibility<\/a> for their circumstances.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, it\u2019s just as hard for those who care about them. But the harder they push; the harder folks push back. Even though the help is well-intentioned, the recipient views the offer as a sign of weakness, and it makes them feel inferior.<\/p>\n

As a caring individual, it\u2019s logical to ask yourself, Am I wasting my time?<\/em> The truth is that you can\u2019t force people to change. It must come from them. When people are forced to do something, they\u2019ll go through the motions\u2026but when they embrace change, they\u2019ll follow their heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t want to\u201d trigger the same results.<\/p>\n

How to Help Someone See the Value of Change<\/h3>\n

Change can be intimidating and uncomfortable, but it\u2019s an essential part of growth and progress. Here are 12 guidelines for introducing change as a positive force in someone\u2019s life:<\/p>\n

Make yourself available. <\/strong><\/span>Be ready when people request assistance rather than being overbearing.<\/p>\n

Be a good listener.<\/strong><\/span> Sometimes it\u2019s better to listen than talk. It demonstrates that you care.<\/p>\n

Establish intent.<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Demonstrate that you understand the person\u2019s situation and that you\u2019re acting in their best interest.<\/p>\n

Build trust.<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>People are more receptive if they trust<\/a> and respect<\/em> you rather than if change is demanded<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Know your expertise.<\/strong><\/span> Know what you know, and what you don\u2019t<\/em> know. If you don\u2019t know something acknowledge it.<\/p>\n

Be supportive.<\/strong><\/span> Feedback is helpful and constructive; criticism is hurtful and damaging.<\/p>\n

Be patient.<\/strong> <\/span>Being overeager can be a turnoff. People like to move at their own pace.<\/p>\n

Take it seriously.<\/strong> <\/span>Consider the matter thoughtfully rather than shooting from the hip<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Share your knowledge.<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>Provide the rationale for your recommendations. Learning is a catalyst for change.<\/p>\n

Be straight with people. <\/strong><\/span>If you\u2019re offering an opinion, tell them. An opinion is not a fact.<\/p>\n

Know your limitations. <\/strong><\/span>Do no harm. Sometimes the best thing to do is to refer someone to an expert.<\/p>\n

Help people help themselves.<\/strong> <\/span>Don\u2019t make people dependent on you.<\/p>\n

Standing on Your Own Two Feet Creates Stability<\/h3>\n

Asking for help is not a weakness. But some people take that to extremes \u2014 making no effort to help themselves. Instead, they cry for help to avoid work, dodge commitments, and evade personal responsibility. In essence, they outsource their obligations and become totally<\/em> dependent on others.<\/p>\n

Requesting help is beneficial but be careful it doesn\u2019t become an addiction.<\/p>\n

Before asking of others, do for yourself. It\u2019ll strengthen your confidence and self-esteem and it will make you self-sufficient. But, if you find yourself struggling, with no end in sight, swallow your pride and request assistance. There\u2019s a difference between requesting support when you need it and using others as a crutch. By using your muscles regularly, you keep them toned, ready to tackle the next challenge that comes your way. The same can be said for shouldering responsibility. Be strong enough to stand on your own two feet, but wise enough to know when to ask for help.<\/p>\n

Check out Franks NEW book,\u00a0Leadership by Example: Be a role model who inspires greatness in others.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Follow me on\u00a0Facebook<\/a>,\u00a0LinkedIn<\/a>,\u00a0X<\/a>\u00a0(Formerly Twitter),\u00a0Pinterest<\/a>, and\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/p>\n

What Do You Think?<\/h3>\n

Please leave a\u00a0comment<\/a>\u00a0and tell us what you think or\u00a0share it with someone who can benefit from the\u00a0information.<\/b><\/p>\n

Additional Reading:
You Can\u2019t Force People to Change<\/a>
Are You Helping or Hurting?<\/a>
Change Your Priorities: Change Your Life<\/a>
Silence\u2026Now Hear This<\/a>
Is Asking for Help a Weakness?<\/a>
How to Give Feedback<\/a>
Who Cares? (I Hope You Do!)<\/a><\/p>\n

If you like this article, subscribe to our blog so that you don\u2019t miss a single post. Get future posts by RSS<\/a> feed, email<\/a> or Facebook<\/a>. It\u2019s FREE. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n