{"id":6560,"date":"2024-02-20T06:53:41","date_gmt":"2024-02-20T10:53:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/are-you-nurturing-or-coddling-frank-sonnenberg\/"},"modified":"2024-02-20T06:53:41","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T10:53:41","slug":"are-you-nurturing-or-coddling-frank-sonnenberg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/are-you-nurturing-or-coddling-frank-sonnenberg\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Nurturing or Coddling? \u2014 Frank Sonnenberg"},"content":{"rendered":"

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If you\u2019ve ever shipped something valuable, I bet you took extra care to wrap it securely. By the same token, some folks treat their kids like delicate crystal \u2014 shielding them from adversity and disappointment. While I\u2019m sure those parents have admirable intentions, well-intentioned plans can have unintended consequences. While nurturing<\/em> promotes self-reliance<\/a>, self-esteem, and a sense of personal responsibility, coddling<\/em> undermines peoples\u2019 confidence and creates a sense of dependency.<\/p>\n

Caring parents jump right in to prevent their kids from falling. The problem is their involvement oftentimes doesn\u2019t stop there. They micromanage their kids\u2019 activities, make their decisions, and intervene in their affairs. Regrettably, they convey the notion that their kids lack the strength and the capacity to cope with challenging situations.<\/p>\n

The best way to make things hard<\/em> for people, is to make it too easy<\/em> for them.<\/p>\n

13 Ways People Are Coddled and Pampered<\/h3>\n

Here are 13 ways that people are coddled<\/em> like infants:<\/p>\n

Keep people on a short leash. <\/strong><\/span>Some folks \u201cneed\u201d to know the whereabouts of people at all times.<\/p>\n

Be overly involved.<\/strong><\/span> Some people are overprotective and overbearing. They\u2019re often so close at hand that they\u2019re mistaken for their shadow.<\/p>\n

Hold their hand.<\/strong><\/span> Some folks insert themselves before people can learn the ropes themselves.<\/p>\n

Make basic decisions. <\/strong><\/span>Some people doubt others\u2019 capacity to make good choices. So, they make decisions for them.<\/p>\n

Guard against adversity. <\/strong><\/span>Some folks shield others from disappointment because they don\u2019t think they can handle it.<\/p>\n

Discourage risk.<\/strong><\/span> Some people dissuade folks from doing difficult or challenging things because it could lead to disappointment.<\/p>\n

Hold no one accountable. <\/strong><\/span>Some folks disparage discipline. After all, reprimanding people for bad behavior can \u201cdamage them for life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bail people out of trouble. <\/strong><\/span>Some people bail folks out of trouble instead of allowing them to make things right themselves \u2014 or face the consequences<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Fight people\u2019s battles.<\/strong><\/span> Some folks rescue people to avoid seeing them struggle.<\/p>\n

Eliminate the concept of winners and losers.<\/strong><\/span> Some people can\u2019t stomach the thought of a loss \u2014 leading to everyone receiving a trophy.<\/p>\n

Provide cover for the guilty party.<\/strong><\/span> Some folks protect people by finding someone else to blame.<\/p>\n

Filter what people hear.<\/strong><\/span> Some people shield folks from anything upsetting \u2014 including negative feedback<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Protect people from reality<\/strong>.<\/span> Some folks provide a safe place where people are protected from harm \u2014 real or imagined.<\/p>\n

Break the Cycle of Dependency<\/h3>\n

If this sounds familiar, don\u2019t get down on yourself. I know your intentions are well-meaning. The problem is when coddled people go out in the \u201cbig, cruel world,\u201d they stay within their comfort zone, have a hard time dealing with disappointment, quit<\/a> before trying, and get easily overwhelmed by obstacles.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a better way\u2026<\/p>\n

Nurturing provides care and support all within the comfort of a low-stakes, nonthreatening environment.<\/p>\n

Here are 20 essential principles for nurturing to thrive:<\/p>\n

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  1. Establish ambitious<\/em> yet attainable <\/em>standards.<\/em><\/li>\n
  2. Empower people to be self-reliant<\/em> and self-sufficient<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  3. Try to understand and relate to people\u2019s feelings \u2014 showing compassion and empathy.<\/li>\n
  4. Offer a nonjudgmental environment to express one\u2019s thoughts.<\/li>\n
  5. Promote personal and professional growth.<\/li>\n
  6. Urge people to step outside their comfort zone.<\/li>\n
  7. Empower people to think for themselves.<\/li>\n
  8. Pose rhetorical questions instead of providing direct answers.<\/li>\n
  9. Let people make their own choices.<\/li>\n
  10. Provide guidance rather than taking over and doing things for them.<\/li>\n
  11. Encourage people to question and scrutinize their ideas.<\/li>\n
  12. Promote lifelong learning.<\/li>\n
  13. Encourage people to learn from their mistakes \u2014 and the mistakes of others.<\/li>\n
  14. Offer constructive feedback by telling it like it is, rather than sugarcoating it.<\/li>\n
  15. Be patient. Understand that personal growth takes time.<\/li>\n
  16. Hold people accountable for their actions.<\/li>\n
  17. Help people discover resiliency in the face of adversity.<\/li>\n
  18. Offer words of motivation and positivity to boost confidence and morale.<\/li>\n
  19. Incentivize and acknowledge outstanding performance \u2014 based upon merit<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  20. Impart moral values<\/a> to serve as a compass in their life journey.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The Gift That Keeps on Giving<\/h3>\n

    I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve heard the saying, \u201cGive a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.\u201d When you give someone a fish, you provide them with immediate relief from hunger or need, but it\u2019s a temporary solution that doesn\u2019t address the root cause of their problem. Conversely, when you teach someone how to fish, you empower them with the skills they\u2019ll need to provide for themselves over the long term.<\/p>\n

    This concept applies to all walks of life. It emphasizes the value of education, empowerment, and self-sufficiency over temporary assistance. What\u2019s more, when people learn these valuable skills, they can pass that knowledge on to others \u2014 creating a positive ripple effect within their community. Are you nurturing or coddling?<\/p>\n

    LISTEN UP \u2026\u00a0\u00a0Listen to Your Conscience. That\u2019s Why You Have One<\/em>\u00a0is now available as an audiobook. Check it out on\u00a0,\u00a0, or\u00a0iTunes<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Are You Nurturing or Coddling?<\/h3>\n

    Please leave a\u00a0comment<\/a>\u00a0and tell us what you think or\u00a0share it with someone who can benefit from the\u00a0information.<\/b><\/p>\n

    Additional Reading:
    5 Powerful Truths for Raising Well-Adjusted Kids<\/a>
    Are You Preparing Your Kids for the Real World?<\/a>
    25 Ways to Screw Up Your Kids<\/a>
    15 Ways to Pass Your Values On to Your Kids<\/a>
    Parenthood Isn\u2019t Child\u2019s Play<\/a>
    13 Ways to Be a Good Role Model<\/a>
    Are You Helping or Hurting?<\/a><\/p>\n

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