{"id":6663,"date":"2024-02-29T00:42:42","date_gmt":"2024-02-29T04:42:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/dark-night-of-the-soul-stop-fearing-it-start-embracing-it-instead\/"},"modified":"2024-02-29T00:42:42","modified_gmt":"2024-02-29T04:42:42","slug":"dark-night-of-the-soul-stop-fearing-it-start-embracing-it-instead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/dark-night-of-the-soul-stop-fearing-it-start-embracing-it-instead\/","title":{"rendered":"Dark Night of the Soul? Stop Fearing It & Start Embracing It Instead"},"content":{"rendered":"

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There\u2019s depression\u2026 Existential crisis\u2026 Burn out\u2026 Doubt in God or the Universe\u2026\u00a0<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s the dark night of the soul (or DNOTS, if you prefer).<\/p>\n

Granted, it sounds a little nyctophobic. And sure, it shakes the foundation of your existence.<\/p>\n

But best you believe that it has nothing to do with getting lost in the dark of the night. Rather, it\u2019s a grand opportunity for profound personal growth and spiritual awakening.<\/p>\n

What Is the Dark Night of the Soul?<\/h2>\n

\u201cDark night of the soul\u201d\u2014its meaning describes a unique and challenging period in a person\u2019s life. There\u2019s a deep sense of despair, loss, and confusion.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t confuse it, though, with depression or sadness. This is a transformative process where soul-searching and ego death<\/a> are involved\u2014all leading to a necessary crucible that leaves you forever changed, in the best way possible.<\/p>\n

For example, imagine a lawyer who\u2019s had years and years of success\u2014let\u2019s call him Larry. Despite all that he\u2019s accomplished, he feels disconnected from what once gave him joy and passion, questioning his life\u2019s purpose. It\u2019s this challenging period, full of doubt and confusion, that encapsulates Larry\u2019s dark night of the soul, pushing him towards seeking deeper meaning and spiritual fulfillment.<\/p>\n

Research even shows personal paradigm shifts, along the same lines as the dark night of the soul, can be a catalyst for self-discovery. One such study<\/a> on midlife transitions found that this significant period can spark periods of questioning, reflection, and personal growth.<\/p>\n

And like a phoenix rising from the ashes, this newfound self-awareness can be the foundation for you to build a more authentic and fulfilling life.<\/p>\n

The Poem by Saint John of the Cross<\/h3>\n

The 16th-century Spanish mystic, poet, and Carmelite friar, Saint John of the Cross, was the one credited with the term \u201cdark night of the soul.\u201d He used it in his poem (aptly called \u201cDark Night of the Soul\u201d) to highlight the journey of the soul from its bodily home to its union with God.<\/p>\n

But what\u2019s so significant about it is that it lays the groundwork for understanding that this deep spiritual crisis is a gateway to deeper connection and spiritual awakening<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the poem:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I.<\/p>\n

In a dark night,<\/p>\n

With anxious love inflamed,<\/p>\n

O, happy lot!<\/p>\n

Forth unobserved I went,<\/p>\n

My house being now at rest.<\/p>\n

II.<\/p>\n

In darkness and in safety,<\/p>\n

By the secret ladder, disguised,<\/p>\n

O, happy lot!<\/p>\n

In darkness and concealment,<\/p>\n

My house being now at rest.<\/p>\n

III.<\/p>\n

In that happy night,<\/p>\n

In secret, seen of none,<\/p>\n

Seeing nought myself,<\/p>\n

Without other light or guide<\/p>\n

Save that which in my heart was burning.<\/p>\n

IV.<\/p>\n

That light guided me<\/p>\n

More surely than the noonday sun<\/p>\n

To the place where He was waiting for me,<\/p>\n

Whom I knew well,<\/p>\n

And where none appeared.<\/p>\n

V.<\/p>\n

O, guiding night;<\/p>\n

O, night more lovely than the dawn;<\/p>\n

O, night that hast united<\/p>\n

The lover with His beloved,<\/p>\n

And changed her into her love.<\/p>\n

VI.<\/p>\n

On my flowery bosom,<\/p>\n

Kept whole for Him alone,<\/p>\n

There He reposed and slept;<\/p>\n

And I cherished Him, and the waving<\/p>\n

Of the cedars fanned Him.<\/p>\n

VII.<\/p>\n

As His hair floated in the breeze<\/p>\n

That from the turret blew,<\/p>\n

He struck me on the neck<\/p>\n

With His gentle hand,<\/p>\n

And all sensation left me.<\/p>\n

VIII.<\/p>\n

I continued in oblivion lost,<\/p>\n

My head was resting on my love;<\/p>\n

Lost to all things and myself,<\/p>\n

And, amid the lilies forgotten,<\/p>\n

Threw all my cares away.<\/p>\n

St. John of the Cross. The Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross. Translated by David Lewis. London: Thomas Baker, 1908.<\/em><\/p>\n

Stages of the Dark Night of the Soul<\/h2>\n

As with anything in life, things don\u2019t just<\/em> happen; they gradually get there. And it goes the same way with this type of awakening.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a look at the dark night of the soul stages:<\/p>\n

1. Awakened discontent<\/h3>\n

You feel unease, you\u2019re confused, and you start questioning why things are the way they are. Welcome to the first stage, where an event or realization shatters your existing worldview.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It could be triggered by a loss, a failure, or simply someone calling you out that exposes your dissatisfaction with your current beliefs and values. Much like Neo in The Matrix<\/em> when he starts questioning reality.<\/p>\n

The thing is, it isn\u2019t necessarily negative. Rather, it marks a shift away from what you know.<\/p>\n

2. Descent into darkness<\/h3>\n

Now, you start feeling a little bit like \u201cWTF is going on here?<\/em>\u201d as you start to face personal shadows and confront painful experiences. Do you pull a Neo and go for the red pill? Or the blue pill?<\/p>\n

It can be quite an intense experience and definitely emotionally challenging. However, it\u2019s a crucial stage to confront your inner darkness, release your limiting beliefs, and heal your ancestral wounds<\/a>.<\/p>\n

3. Detachment<\/h3>\n

\u201cYou have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he\u2019s afraid to close his eyes<\/em>.\u201d You remember that line from Morpheus? It\u2019s when Neo starts to detach himself from his preconceived notions and challenge his physical limits.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Similarly, this stage invites you to face the impermanence of things. It may leave you feeling empty, directionless, stripped bare of illusions, and detached from worldly desires.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But what it does is allow you to release outdated patterns so that there\u2019s space for transformation.<\/p>\n

4. Facing the shadow<\/h3>\n

This stage is all about the shadow work<\/a>. You\u2019re confronting repressed emotions, negative aspects of the self, and hidden fears and insecurities. Basically, you\u2019re going face-to-face with your own Agent Smith.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe shadow is the part of ourselves that is made up of all we hide from<\/em>,\u201d explains Jade Shaw<\/strong>, an out-of-body experience expert and trainer of Mindvalley\u2019s The Art of Astral Projection<\/em> Quest. \u201cAnd all that has been split off from who we think we are\u2014our shame, our fears, our wounds\u2014but also our divine spirit, our blinding beauty, and our hidden talent<\/em>s.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dreams, meditation, shadow work, and facing difficult truths can trigger this stage. It can feel isolating and scary for what lies ahead. But it propels you forward toward personal growth and authenticity.<\/p>\n

5. Surrender<\/h3>\n

You know that scene where Neo faces The Oracle, learning the truth about his potential and accepting his role as \u201cThe One\u201d? That\u2019s this stage.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s when you surrender to the process, accept not knowing, and let go of the need to control. What\u2019ll help you get here is deep reflection and spiritual guidance.<\/p>\n

As The Oracle said to Neo, \u201cYou didn\u2019t come here to make the choice. You\u2019ve already made it. You\u2019re here to try to understand WHY you made it<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

6. Rebirth<\/h3>\n

Hello, you. Congratulations on making it out of the dark and into a new, more authentic way of being in the world.<\/p>\n

This stage is the culmination of your journey through the dark night of the soul. It\u2019s where you reemerge with a transformed identity, a newfound purpose, increased compassion, and a deeper connection to yourself and others.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve done the inner work, integrated the lessons learned, and engaged in meaningful activities. And you now know, as Morpheus puts it, \u201cthere\u2019s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Man