{"id":8388,"date":"2024-08-08T18:51:02","date_gmt":"2024-08-08T22:51:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/5-major-signs-youve-outgrown-your-friends\/"},"modified":"2024-08-08T18:51:02","modified_gmt":"2024-08-08T22:51:02","slug":"5-major-signs-youve-outgrown-your-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/5-major-signs-youve-outgrown-your-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Major Signs You\u2019ve Outgrown Your Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
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There\u2019s this saying common among Nigerians that I learned from my grandfather. It says,\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\u201c20 children cannot play together for 20 years.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

At some point, some are going to outgrow others. The way they look at the world will change so much that they may not be able to stand each other after some years. Some will hold on to their childish ways longer than others.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But in some cases, this transition can be difficult.\u00a0<\/p>\n

For instance, if you\u2019re the one outgrowing your friends, they may not be so happy with it. And you, on the other hand, may find it difficult to cut them off and accept that things cannot stay the same forever.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Trying to hold on to dead friendships is understandable, but it can also cause emotional turmoil if you struggle to fit into a circle you\u2019re no longer welcomed in. That said, here are the key signs you\u2019ll see when you\u2019ve outgrown your circle of friends.<\/p>\n

1. You intimidate them<\/strong><\/h2>\n

In his book 12 Rules For Life, <\/em>Jordan Peterson explained that when you aspire upwards, you reveal the inadequacy of those around you, and you show them that their mediocrity and immobility are not justifiable.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a hard truth so many people don\u2019t understand:\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re friends with a certain caliber of people, one of the reasons you\u2019re comfortable around each other is that you share a lot of things in common.\u00a0<\/p>\n

This is why rich people will tend to hang around other rich people. Poor people will most likely hang around places where they\u2019ll meet other poor people. If you like to read, then there\u2019s a high chance your close friends also know a few things about books.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a gamer, you\u2019ll hang around online communities for gamers. Being around people who are familiar with us makes us feel good. This is called \u201cThe Mere Exposure Effect\u201d in psychology.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you hang around a circle of friends that are used to being average and mediocre, when you step up, you quickly become the stranger that threatens the norm that binds you all together.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you start attempting to read books, get into shape, and quit the bad habits that your group is already used to, your life begins to improve. And your circle of friends will see it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But your sudden growth will call them out on the fact that they have no excuse for not growing just like you unless they\u2019re so useless.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Of course, your friends can respond to this intimidation in two ways: Encourage you and join you to grow, or reject you and try to punish you for outgrowing them.\u00a0<\/p>\n

2. You\u2019re no longer eager to see them\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

After my first year at the University, I eagerly hurried home to catch up with my friends.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But after our first meeting, I quickly realized that the way we looked at the world had shifted in significant ways.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The topics I used to enjoy discussing suddenly became boring. I was finding it difficult to relate with this group of guys I thought I had so much connection with. From then on, we started meeting fewer times. And they noticed how I became less enthusiastic about the discussions we were having.<\/p>\n

After some time, I couldn\u2019t just see myself spending time with them anymore.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re about to outgrow your friends, it isn\u2019t going to start with how you dress or the movies you watch. Change always starts from the mind. And that\u2019s the first place you\u2019ll notice it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Slowly, you\u2019ll lose the enthusiasm to hang out with them. This will be partly because the things they do and the ideas they discuss when you\u2019re together no longer interest you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Maybe they always smoke and drink but you now find no value in those things. Maybe they\u2019re always discussing soccer and the latest news about Hollywood and new tv shows to binge on Netflix, but you now find those things as time wasters.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Once you see that you\u2019re reluctant to now hang out with a group of friends, think about why it\u2019s happening. The answer may not be that difficult if you spend a few minutes thinking about it.<\/p>\n

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Interesting: 5 Signs Your Friend Is Secretly Jealous of\u00a0You<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

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3. Your values\/interests no longer align with theirs\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Your interests are moving from casual surface-level discussions to deeper and more meaningful things. And when they\u2019re having a discussion or an argument, you can\u2019t help but wonder how you became friends with them in the first place.\u00a0<\/p>\n

They want to go out, but you want to stay in and study. They see hooking up with different girls every weekend as a high achievement, but they see it as a waste of time because you now prioritize deep meaningful relationships.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When someone is undergoing a major change, their values change first. And this is because values are the foundation upon which we derive meaning from our lives. This is why your conscience hunts you when you betray your values.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Observe yourself. Do the interests and values your friends uphold suddenly seem fleeting or childish? Do you find yourself wanting more from life beyond the average, aimless life your circle of friends live? That could be a sign that you\u2019re outgrowing them.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And you need to act on that inner urge to do better if you want to really live beyond what your current circle of friends has to offer.\u00a0<\/p>\n

4. Sometimes they cut you out\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

When you start outgrowing your friends, and they don\u2019t like the changes they\u2019re seeing because you intimidate them, they\u2019ll start cutting you out gradually. Soon, you\u2019ll be seeing posts of their weekend outings that you were not invited to.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve become the oddball, the unfamiliar one that\u2019s behaving like you\u2019re too good for them. At least, that\u2019s how they\u2019ll see it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Of course, not all circles of friends will cut you out if they see you\u2019re outgrowing them. But it\u2019s definitely a sign most people will experience. And if you\u2019re not aware of what\u2019s going on, you may start thinking you offended them.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But if you want to take this a step further to really satisfy your curiosity, ask them why they haven\u2019t been inviting you to their outings. You\u2019ll surely hear weird answers like \u201cWe thought you may be too busy.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you keep your resolve to grow, as time goes on, you\u2019ll be completely cut out of the group \u2014 that\u2019s if you don\u2019t cut yourself out first.\u00a0<\/p>\n

5. You sometimes feel off when you\u2019re with them\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

For instance, they\u2019re discussing one mundane topic, and you give a response that brings everyone to dead silence. Every time you give your opinion in a group discussion, they think you\u2019re being too witty or overly serious.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And when you attempt to raise a serious discussion, maybe about life, growth, making an impact, or just being more responsible, you hear comments like \u201cPreach on pastor!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

They\u2019re afraid of seeing the reality of a mediocre life. You want more, and you wish they could grow with you as well. But they can\u2019t. And worse, they\u2019re trying to punish you and make you feel embarrassed for growing.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Final words\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

It can be difficult letting go of a group of friends that you\u2019ve experienced a lot with, but it\u2019s part of life. As you move higher in life and build a more mature mindset, you attract like minds. If you can\u2019t let go of your old friends, you can\u2019t create space for new ones.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sometimes letting go of old friendships can be so painful that some people will subtly reject the path upward just to keep fitting in. But that\u2019s choosing mediocrity with your two eyes wide open.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Also read: 7 Strong Signs Your Friend Is Manipulative<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"Profit<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s this saying common among Nigerians that I learned from my grandfather. It says,\u00a0 \u201c20 children cannot play together for 20 years.\u201d\u00a0 At some point, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8389,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8388","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8388","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8388"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8388\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8388"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8388"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8388"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}