{"id":9336,"date":"2024-11-13T07:18:28","date_gmt":"2024-11-13T11:18:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-10-expert-tips\/"},"modified":"2024-11-13T07:18:28","modified_gmt":"2024-11-13T11:18:28","slug":"how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-10-expert-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-10-expert-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make Friends as an Adult: 10 Expert Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Remember when making friends was as simple as saying, \u201c<em>Wanna play?<\/em>\u201d Back then, friendships happened naturally. You\u2019d meet someone new in school or at the park, and by the end of the day, you had a new best friend.<\/p>\n<p>But as adults, it feels\u2026 <em>different<\/em>. Friendships can seem harder to build.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Wanna play?<\/em>\u201d is now \u201c<em>Wanna hang out?<\/em>\u201d But, somehow, that lighthearted fun feels like it\u2019s been replaced by invisible checklists that need to be met before we let someone in.<\/p>\n<p>No doubt, learning <strong>how to make friends as an adult<\/strong> is tough. But with a little guidance, though, it can feel natural again. And maybe, just maybe, it can even bring back a bit of that \u201c<em>Wanna play?<\/em>\u201d spirit you\u2019ve likely missed.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-reconnect-with-joyful-activities\">1. Reconnect with joyful activities<\/h2>\n<p>Our past experiences shape <a href=\"https:\/\/academic.oup.com\/book\/28760\/chapter\/235152533\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">how we connect with people<\/a> today. Sometimes, they even lead us to hold back or wait for others to make the first move.<\/p>\n<p>To make friendships easier, try thinking about what brought you joy in childhood or school\u2014maybe it was team sports, creative projects, or joining clubs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Radha Agrawal<\/strong>, the founder of the global Daybreaker movement, offers reflective questions in her Mindvalley Quest, <em>Build Your Dream Community<\/em>, to help you uncover those meaningful memories:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What made you feel excited and connected as a child?<\/li>\n<li>Which activities made you feel truly included?<\/li>\n<li>Are there beliefs or labels you still carry, like \u201cshy\u201d or \u201cintroverted,\u201d from that time?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>How to do it: <\/strong>Use these reflections to bring similar activities back into your life. For example, if drawing brings you joy, try a local art class or a sketching meetup. When you engage in what lights you up, connecting with others becomes more natural.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-see-belonging-as-essential-to-your-well-being\">2. See belonging as essential to your well-being<\/h2>\n<p>Having people around you is about more than just company. It\u2019s essential for well-being.<\/p>\n<p>Studies show that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2016\/01\/160104163210.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">strong social connections are as important to health<\/a> as exercise and good nutrition. And, as Radha says, \u201c<em>belonging is a basic human need<\/em>\u201d\u2014right up there with food, water, and shelter.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to do it: <\/strong>Make time for friendships and community-building as part of your self-care routine. Reach out to friends or family members you haven\u2019t seen in a while, or explore new circles like local clubs or activity groups.<\/p>\n<p>Mindvalley offers amazing opportunities to connect with <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/kindred-spirit\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">kindred spirits<\/a>, from global events like Mindvalley University and A-Fest to local meet-ups and Connections on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/apps?utm_source=blog\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Mindvalley app<\/a>. These spaces are designed to bring together people just like you\u2014eager to grow, learn, and create lasting bonds.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-find-connections-that-share-your-values\">3. Find connections that share your values<\/h2>\n<p>A strong community is made up of people who lift you up. When you connect with those who share your core values, interests, and goals, friendships often feel more natural and fulfilling.<\/p>\n<p>Radha suggests mapping out your \u201cVIA\u201d\u2014values, interests, and abilities\u2014to help you get clear on what you\u2019re looking for:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Values: <\/strong>What matters most to you? (e.g., creativity, adventure, personal growth)<\/li>\n<li><strong>Interests: <\/strong>What do you enjoy doing most?<\/li>\n<li><strong>Abilities: <\/strong>What strengths do you bring to a group? Maybe you\u2019re a great listener or love making others laugh.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Use this exercise to find activities or groups that align with your VIA. For example, if you value adventure, look into local hiking or travel groups.<\/p>\n<p>This approach can also help you <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/building-a-community\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">build your community<\/a> with people who resonate with you on a deeper level and make each connection feel more meaningful.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-be-a-f-ck-yeah-friend\">4. Be a \u201cF*ck Yeah! Friend\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>Being a \u201cF*ck Yeah! Friend\u201d (FYF) is, as Radha declares, \u201c<em>the cornerstone of making friends and building community<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Crudeness aside, it\u2019s about being the kind of friend who\u2019s genuinely there\u2014not just physically but mentally and emotionally, too.<\/p>\n<p>An FYF knows that kindness and authenticity are some of the most powerful <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/social-skills\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">social skills<\/a>. They bring these qualities into every interaction, helping people feel truly seen and appreciated.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>High energy isn\u2019t a requirement here. But having an open heart and a genuine willingness to connect is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Next time you\u2019re with friends or meeting someone new, bring a little FYF energy. Be present, ask questions, and show interest in their story. These small gestures go a long way in creating meaningful, memorable connections.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-avoid-negative-or-boring-starters\">5. Avoid negative or boring starters<\/h2>\n<p>\u201c<em>Traffic was terrible this morning.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Work has been so hectic lately.<\/em>\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>It\u2019s been one of those days<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These common openers are relatable, sure. But they\u2019re what <strong>Vanessa Van Edwards<\/strong>, a speaker with Science of People, calls being \u201c<em>accidentally negative or accidentally boring<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Starting with these types of phrases can unintentionally bring down the energy and make it harder for people to feel drawn in.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Try leading with something upbeat or intriguing that makes it easier for others to relate and jump into <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/what-is-a-platonic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">platonic relationships<\/a> with you. Simple things, like mentioning a funny story, an interesting article you read, or even something good about your day, can set a more positive tone and make it easier to connect.<\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2000\" height=\"1121\" alt=\"Two women talking with their arms around each other outdoors\" class=\"wp-image-75694\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing.webp 2000w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing-768x430.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing-1536x861.webp 1536w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 2000px) 100vw, 2000px\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing.webp\"\/><noscript><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2000\" height=\"1121\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing.webp\" alt=\"Two women talking with their arms around each other outdoors\" class=\"wp-image-75694\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing.webp 2000w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing-768x430.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2024\/11\/a172bc6e-how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-a-fest-2024-ibiza-08_08122-all-is-amazing-1536x861.webp 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2000px) 100vw, 2000px\"\/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-6-adopt-the-offer-mentality\">6. Adopt the offer mentality<\/h2>\n<p>Let\u2019s say you\u2019re talking to someone who just moved to your city. Instead of just swapping pleasantries, you offer tips on the best local spots, like a cozy coffee shop or a quiet park. Or maybe, if they\u2019re interested in something you know well, you suggest a few resources or events they might like.<\/p>\n<p>This is what Vanessa calls the \u201coffer mentality.\u201d You go from worrying about impressing someone or hoping they\u2019ll be interesting\u2026 to focusing on what you can bring to the interaction.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a way to use your charisma to create an impact for the greater good. As Vanessa points out, \u201c<em>It\u2019s going into interactions, going into relationships, thinking, \u2018What can I offer?<\/em>\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It shows genuine interest and kindness, which often leads to a smoother, more open conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Think of one simple thing you can offer to make the conversation memorable. It doesn\u2019t have to be big\u2014just a piece of advice, a shared experience, or an offer to keep in touch if they need help.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-7-break-the-ice-first-nbsp\">7. Break the ice first\u00a0<\/h2>\n<p>A little audacity goes a long way in building connections.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>For instance, if you\u2019ve uprooted yourself and are figuring out how to make friends as an adult in a new city, having even a smidgen of boldness is key. Don\u2019t hesitate to be the one who breaks the ice.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not that people aren\u2019t open to meeting new friends. It\u2019s just that they often need someone else to take the first step.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>I can tell you that if you don\u2019t push, if you\u2019re not bold, if you\u2019re not stepping out, if you are too deferential, and you stand in the corners, you will not have the success that you deserve<\/em>,\u201d states <strong>Keith Ferrazzi<\/strong>, the founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, in his Mindvalley Quest, <em>Mastering Authentic Networking<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>You must be bold<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Dare to put yourself out there. Ask questions like, \u201c<em>What\u2019s something that brings you joy?<\/em>\u201d or \u201c<em>What\u2019s one thing you love about your work?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These gestures show you\u2019re genuinely interested, and people respond to that.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-8-connect-with-superconnectors\">8. Connect with \u201csuperconnectors\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>Superconnectors are what they sound like\u2014people who can help you connect with other people. Keith explains that they are \u201c<em>individuals who, by virtue of what they do or who they are as an individual, really know a lot of other people<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These could be financial advisors, realtors, or public relations professionals\u2014roles that require social interaction. Or they could be the type to just seemingly know everyone, like Barney Stinson from <em>How I Met Your Mother<\/em> or Miss Patty from <em>Gilmore Girls<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Making friends or even just <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/networking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">networking<\/a> with a superconnector is an awesome way to meet all kinds of people who can bring new energy into your life. Plus, they\u2019re not just a good source for introductions; they often have the inside scoop on what\u2019s happening around town or in your field.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Start by identifying superconnectors in your existing circle or community. Look for people who seem to know everyone and love bringing others together.<\/p>\n<p>Once you have, reach out, show real interest in what they do, and invite them to grab a coffee or hang out at a local event. Little gestures like these can go a long way in building connections with these socially savvy people who can open the door to more friendships.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-9-get-active-on-digital-spaces\">9. Get active on digital spaces<\/h2>\n<p>For those wondering how to make friends as an adult with social anxiety, online spaces can be a perfect starting point. Jumping into online communities, hobby groups, or even local event pages on Facebook, Meetup, or LinkedIn helps you <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/how-to-start-conversation\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">start a conversation<\/a> without the pressure of face-to-face interactions.<\/p>\n<p>However, we all know how dark the internet can be, so Keith suggests being mindful of <em>who<\/em> you connect with. \u201c<em>You\u2019re not just gathering names for [the sake of] gathering names<\/em>,\u201d he says. \u201c<em>You want to gather names associated with that MTP, that Massive Transformative Purpose of yours<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Find groups that match your interests, and start by joining the conversations. Drop a comment on posts you like or ask questions that invite responses. This is a low-key way to build connections and figure out how to meet new people online.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-10-host-small-gatherings\">10. Host small gatherings<\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s definitely nice to have people around to connect with. Unfortunately, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.who.int\/teams\/social-determinants-of-health\/demographic-change-and-healthy-ageing\/social-isolation-and-loneliness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">one in four older people experience social isolation<\/a>, according to the World Health Organization (WHO).<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why get-togethers are so incredible. It doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s a <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/events-community\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">community event<\/a>, a potluck, or just a casual hang to watch a game (Keith himself prefers hosting dinner parties); they\u2019re great opportunities to create connections.<\/p>\n<p>Keith has a few tips to keep hosting simple but meaningful:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Mix old friends with new acquaintances<\/strong> so that it\u2019s easier to build your network while keeping things relaxed.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Add a theme <\/strong>(like a wine tasting or a topic like wellness), so it\u2019s more engaging and gives everyone something to talk about.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Create a cozy, welcoming setup<\/strong> by choosing comfortable spaces, keeping the music low, and arranging the seating to encourage conversation.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Consider co-hosting<\/strong>\u2014have a friend bring along their circle and make it a shared experience.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Kick things off with a personal\/professional check-in<\/strong> by inviting each person to share something about their personal and professional life.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>How to do it:<\/strong> Set a date and invite a few friends over. Keep things simple\u2014think \u201crelaxed vibe\u201d over perfection. Whether you\u2019re hosting a potluck or a small dinner, focus on creating a warm, inviting atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable opening up.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-go-beyond-the-small-talk\">Go beyond the small talk<\/h2>\n<p>Think about the last time you clicked with someone\u2014it probably wasn\u2019t idle chit-chat that got you there. Real connections start with real conversations, the kind that invite curiosity and create lasting impressions.<\/p>\n<p>With the <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/conversation-starters-download\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Conversation Starter Kit<\/strong><\/a>, you\u2019ll have a set of prompts to spark that kind of talk. Whether you\u2019re rekindling friendships or meeting new people, these questions are a light but powerful way to bring depth into your interactions.<\/p>\n<p>So give it a try. The questions are here, they\u2019re free, and they\u2019re ready to help you turn simple chats into meaningful moments.<\/p>\n<p>Welcome in.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hop.clickbank.net\/?affiliate=infohatch&amp;vendor=J1R2C\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10614 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png\" alt=\"Profit Gen\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px.png 400w, https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/profit-gen400px-300x163.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember when making friends was as simple as saying, \u201cWanna play?\u201d Back then, friendships happened naturally. You\u2019d meet someone new in school or at the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9337,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happiness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9336"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9336\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}