{"id":9793,"date":"2025-01-08T14:02:49","date_gmt":"2025-01-08T18:02:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/stephanie-harrison-on-how-to-find-true-happiness-again\/"},"modified":"2025-01-08T14:02:49","modified_gmt":"2025-01-08T18:02:49","slug":"stephanie-harrison-on-how-to-find-true-happiness-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parmaks.com\/Resources\/stephanie-harrison-on-how-to-find-true-happiness-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Stephanie Harrison on How to Find True Happiness Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Profit<\/a>
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Get the degree. Buy the dream house. Land the big promotion. Book the luxury vacation. Do it for the \u2018gram. And you\u2019ll be happy\u2026 right?<\/p>\n

Perhaps momentarily.<\/p>\n

But long-term? It\u2019s safe to say that for many of us, it doesn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo many of the messages that we\u2019ve been told about happiness are not only flawed in the sense that they don\u2019t help us to find happiness<\/em>,\u201d says Stephanie Harrison<\/strong> on the Mindvalley Book Club with Kristina M\u04d3nd-Lakhiani. \u201cThey actually direct us towards misery<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her solution? A radical shift from Old Happy to something that she calls New Happy (which is the premise of her podcast, The New Happy<\/em>, and international bestseller, New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That\u2019s Got It Wrong<\/em><\/a>).<\/p>\n

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Happiness is a lot about becoming more of who you are and then sharing it with people.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Stephanie Harrison, author of New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That\u2019s Got It Wrong<\/em><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, maybe it\u2019s time to stop chasing happiness and start creating it\u2014a version that\u2019s real, lasting, and uniquely yours.<\/p>\n

The problem with \u201cold happy,\u201d according to Stephanie Harrison<\/h2>\n

Many of us have been taught that happiness lies on the other side of X, which could be anything\u2014money, fame, power, love, or recognition.<\/p>\n

But how many of us have gotten X only to find that it\u2019s not the glory we thought<\/em> we\u2019d feel? How many of us have felt a sense of naught?<\/p>\n

There are too many stories like this out there. Like Robin Sharma<\/a>, who found success but battled burnout. Or Amy Winehouse, whose talent and fame couldn\u2019t save her from feeling unworthy of the love and support she deserved. Or Tim Bergling, a.k.a. Avicii, who spoke of the deep loneliness and a sense of disconnect despite his global acclaim.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Happy\u2019<\/em>,\u201d says Stephanie, \u201ccomes from the systems of capitalism, individualism, and domination that teach us what to value and what\u2019s important to us<\/em>.\u201d And she boils it down to three big societal lies:<\/p>\n

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  1. You\u2019re not enough.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. External success will make you happy.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. You have to do it alone.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    These Old Happy lies do more than mislead; they can take a serious toll on your peace of mind. Research shows that extrinsic goals like wealth, fame, and appearance often lead to negative emotions and stress<\/a> rather than happiness or well-being.<\/p>\n

    Don\u2019t be mistaken, though. There\u2019s nothing wrong with having big goals, even extrinsic ones. But the question Stephanie poses is this: What are we harnessing it for?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Our self-interest? Our \u201cconsumerist desires<\/em>\u201d\u2014the things we want to buy or experience? Or to make a difference in the world?<\/p>\n

    Her point is this: the motivation behind our goals matters.<\/strong> Even the same pursuit can feel completely different when driven by meaning rather than societal pressure.<\/p>\n

    What is \u201cnew happy,\u201d and why does it matter now?<\/h2>\n

    Fact: Burnout is rising globally<\/a>, with 43% of U.S. middle managers experiencing it\u2014the highest among all worker groups.<\/p>\n

    Also, fact: The culture of overachievement is driving a rise in perfectionism among young people<\/a>, linked to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.<\/p>\n

    So if hustle and perfectionism aren\u2019t what makes people happy<\/a>, then what does?<\/p>\n

    As Kristina points out in the interview, happiness often isn\u2019t seen as a \u201csexy\u201d goal. \u201cIf you walk around a room of conscious people who are into personal growth and transformation, you would not hear one of them say that \u2018my goal here is to feel happy\u2019<\/em>,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

    Instead, it\u2019s treated like a bonus you stumble upon after hitting all the right life goals\u2014like the perfect career, relationship, or milestone.<\/p>\n

    Stephanie argues that this mindset<\/a> needs to change. \u201cWe need to reclaim happiness as the greatest goal<\/em>,\u201d she explains, \u201cbecause the happiness that I\u2019m talking about is not self-interested<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s not about chasing material desires or personal experiences. Instead, happiness is rooted in virtues, built through shared efforts, and brings meaning and joy to others.<\/p>\n

    \u201cHappiness<\/em>,\u201d she adds, \u201cis a lot about becoming more of who you are and then sharing it with people<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Research shows that being generous is linked to gratification. One study found it activates brain regions associated with reward and positive emotions<\/a>, demonstrating how giving can directly enhance well-being.<\/p>\n

    And when you see happiness as more than a fleeting byproduct, it transforms into a force that fuels connection, purpose, and a deeper meaning\u2014both for you and for the world around you.<\/p>\n

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    Stephanie Harrison\u2019s 5 tips to embrace New Happy<\/h2>\n

    Old Happy may have shaped how we\u2019ve seen happiness, but it\u2019s time for a new way forward. It\u2019s time for \u201cnew happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

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    We need to reclaim happiness as the greatest goal.<\/p>\n

    \u2014 Stephanie Harrison, author of New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That\u2019s Got It Wrong<\/em><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Stephanie lays out five clear, practical steps to help you start living the kind of happiness that lasts.<\/p>\n

    1. Recognize the lies of Old Happy<\/h3>\n

    Ask yourself this: what has Old Happy taught you about feeling worthy<\/a>?\u00a0<\/p>\n

    Has it convinced you that your value depends on how much you achieve, how perfect you appear, or how well you meet society\u2019s expectations? Or has it left you chasing validation from others while feeling like you\u2019re never quite enough?<\/p>\n

    These subtle but powerful messages shape how you see yourself and your happiness. As Stephanie explains, \u201cAll of these unwritten instructions that are provided by our society ultimately end up making us sick, lonely, disconnected, frustrated, you name it<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

    Once you\u2019re able to recognize and identify these false narratives, you can begin to disentangle your true desires from societal expectations.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    So, keep a journal to track moments when you feel \u201cnot enough\u201d or overly driven by external validation. Ask yourself questions like, \u201cWhose approval am I seeking?<\/em>\u201d or \u201cIs this goal truly mine?<\/em>\u201d This can help you challenge and rewrite the scripts that no longer serve you.<\/p>\n

    2. Identify your unique gifts<\/h3>\n

    \u201cEvery human being possesses three different types of gifts<\/em>,\u201d Stephanie says. These include:<\/p>\n