Somewhere right now, someone is buying a pair of running shoes for the person they plan to become on January 1.
That person will wake up early. Eat beautifully. Meditate. Stop procrastinating. And apparently have no interest in chocolate after dinner.
You know this person. You may have tried to become this person.
I have, too.
The problem is that we tend to design our new lives on the days when we feel most inspired. Then we expect ourselves to follow through on a Wednesday when we’ve slept badly, work has exploded, and there’s nothing in the fridge.
Within a month, the running shoes make an excellent doorstop.
Over the years, I’ve become interested in a different approach to change: small rituals you can return to even when your motivation has gone missing.
I’m fifty now. When I look at what has helped me build Mindvalley, stay physically strong, and create relationships I treasure, so much of it comes back to these ordinary, repeated moments.
A glass of water. Time to learn. Lunch with another human being. A short workout. The way I speak to myself before bed.
Some of my rituals are a little weird. One involves looking into a bathroom mirror while holding a toothbrush.
But underneath all of them is an idea that changed my relationship with personal growth:
You can take care of yourself because you already believe you’re worth taking care of.
You don’t have to wait until you’ve become more successful, more disciplined, or more impressive.
You can begin with the person you are today.
The identity you rehearse every day
There’s a subtle difference between trying to force yourself into a habit and seeing that habit as an expression of who you are.
“I really should make time for my friends” feels like another overdue task.
“My relationships matter to me” gives you a reason to pick up the phone.
“I need to fix myself” can get you moving. But it’s an exhausting place to live.
“I’m someone worth looking after” creates a different kind of momentum.
At Mindvalley U in Tallinn, Jim Kwik spoke about how taking a step in a different direction can eventually lead you to an entirely different destination.
I love that image because the first step doesn’t have to look impressive. Its significance becomes visible over time.
The ten rituals below follow the rhythm of a day, from waking up to going to bed. Please don’t read them as ten new obligations.
Read them looking for one small step that belongs in your life.
1. Give your body something simple before asking it for everything
My first ritual is a glass of water.
Usually, I add lemon and a pinch of Himalayan salt. That’s a personal preference, not the secret to enlightenment. Pink salt is still salt. Your body can’t read the artisanal label.
The useful part of this ritual is its simplicity.
Before I check messages, make decisions, or start responding to everyone else’s needs, I do something basic for my own body.
Research on mild dehydration has found effects on mood, fatigue, and concentration. That doesn’t mean every tired morning is a hydration problem, or that everyone wakes up dehydrated. But water is an easy place to begin.
We can get so fascinated by elaborate wellness routines that we overlook the ordinary things that help us feel human.
Start here: Put a glass of water somewhere you’ll see it when you wake up. Drink it. Plain water is enough.
2. Give your mind a direction before the world gives it twenty
People sometimes tell me they can’t meditate because their minds won’t stop thinking.
I understand. You sit down, close your eyes, and suddenly remember an email from three weeks ago, an awkward conversation from 2009, and something you need from the supermarket.
This is one reason I created the Six Phase Meditation.
It gives the mind something meaningful to do.
You move through compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, a vision for your future, an intention for your day, and a final sense of blessing or support.
You don’t need to sit in a knee-wrenching lotus pose. You can get comfortable. If your leg cramps, move it. Your ability to ignore a cramp is not a measure of your spiritual development.
For me, the value of meditation shows up after I open my eyes.
I’m more likely to notice when I’m carrying irritation into a conversation. More likely to remember what matters before I let something trivial hijack my attention. More able to choose how I want to meet the day.
That’s the practice: developing a little more awareness at the moments when awareness can change what happens next.
If fifteen or twenty minutes feels impossible, begin with gratitude.
Think of something you appreciate in your life. Someone you’re glad exists. Something about yourself you respect.
Stay with each long enough to feel it.
Start here: Spend three minutes with gratitude before opening your messages.
3. Make room to notice how your eating routine affects you
Intermittent fasting is one of those subjects that can turn a perfectly pleasant dinner into a conference.
People have strong opinions about eating windows.
My approach is more personal: pay attention to whether your routine actually supports your body and your life.
I sometimes practise intermittent fasting a few days a week. But it isn’t an essential habit for everyone, and it isn’t a requirement for health.
In a year-long trial published in the New England Journal of Medicine, adding a restricted eating window to calorie restriction did not produce a significantly greater weight-loss benefit than calorie restriction alone. That’s useful context when the internet makes fasting sound like a universal upgrade.
Ronan Diego, who teaches Beyond Fasting at Mindvalley, encourages people to understand their bodies rather than blindly follow a formula.
That principle matters more to me than winning an argument about breakfast.
For some adults, finishing dinner earlier and avoiding habitual late-night snacking may be a comfortable change. For others, a fasting routine is unsuitable—particularly during pregnancy or breastfeeding, with a history of eating disorders, or when medical conditions or medications make meal timing important. In those situations, get individual guidance.
You don’t earn points for ignoring hunger, dizziness, or feeling unwell.
*Start here:* Notice your evening eating pattern. Are you hungry, or are you tired, bored, and still answering emails? Begin with that awareness.
4. Put learning in your calendar before work eats the space
One of the strangest things about adulthood is how easily learning becomes something we’ll do once everything else is finished.
Everything else is never finished.
There is always another message. Another meeting. Another problem that has arrived wearing an “urgent” badge.
So I protect time for learning.
I aim for at least two hours a week devoted to a book, a course, or a subject I want to understand more deeply. And I’ll be honest: work still tries to creep in.
The calendar block matters because it turns an intention into a commitment.
James Clear uses the idea of small improvements compounding over time in Atomic Habits. Human development doesn’t follow a neat mathematical curve, but the underlying idea is powerful: what you repeatedly practise changes what becomes possible.
Choose something you genuinely want to get better at.
Communication. Strength training. Parenting. Understanding money. Using AI. Building a community.
Then stay with it long enough to move beyond collecting interesting ideas.
Read. Take notes. Try something. Notice what happens.
The application is where learning starts changing your life.
*Start here:* Book twenty minutes twice this week. Choose one subject, and give it your attention for the next thirty days.
5. Make connection part of an ordinary Tuesday
I work from home, which means my commute is excellent.
It also means I have to be intentional about seeing people.
One of my most important rituals is having lunch with a friend or colleague. I make a point of arranging it because connection can disappear surprisingly quickly from a busy day.
You answer messages all morning. You eat at your desk. You finish work and realize you’ve interacted with dozens of people without having one conversation that made you feel connected.
A desk salad is not a coworker.
Research has consistently linked stronger social relationships with better health and survival. Those findings don’t mean that a particular lunch will extend your life by a measurable amount. They do remind us that relationships deserve real space in our lives.
Radha Agrawal, who teaches Build Your Dream Community at Mindvalley, describes belonging as an act of courage.
Sometimes that courage looks very ordinary.
You send the message. Suggest the lunch. Invite someone for a walk. You stop waiting for the other person to make the first move.
And when you meet, you let yourself be there.
*Start here:* Arrange one lunch or walk this week. Put your phone away and give the person in front of you your attention.
6. Let yourself rest before you become impossible to be around
I’m a fan of a short nap.
This can sound suspiciously unambitious in a culture that celebrates people for powering through everything.
But I care about the quality of my attention. There are afternoons when pushing harder produces very little beyond more frustration.
A small NASA study of long-haul pilots found that a planned nap improved alertness and performance. The exact findings belong to that particular setting, but I appreciate the broader reminder: rest can support our ability to do demanding things.
You don’t have to turn your afternoon into a second night’s sleep.
A short rest may be enough. And if napping makes it harder for you to sleep at night, it may not be the right ritual for you.
The point is to notice when you need recovery instead of automatically interpreting fatigue as a character flaw.
*Start here:* If it suits your sleep, try ten to twenty minutes of quiet rest in the early afternoon. Set an alarm. Let yourself stop.
7. Build strength for the life you want to keep living
When my dad turned seventy, his doctor warned him that his health was in such poor shape he might have only five years left.
That conversation broke my heart.
I introduced him to Lorenzo Delano, one of the minds behind Mindvalley’s 10X Fitness.
What followed was surprisingly simple: two short strength-training sessions a week.
My dad started at eighty kilograms on the leg press. Four weeks later, he was pressing a hundred and fifty.
Those numbers were exciting. But what mattered to me was what he could do outside the gym.
Stairs became easier. He could hike.
A few years later, we hiked Petra together in Jordan.
That is the part I think about.
I think about being able to explore a place with my father. About the experiences that remained available to him because he had become stronger.
His results are his experience, not a promise of what everyone will achieve. But research also links muscle-strengthening activity with better long-term health.
You don’t have to begin with an intimidating routine. Choose resistance you can control, learn good technique, and build gradually. If you’re new to exercise or have health concerns, get appropriate guidance.
*Start here:* Put two short strength sessions in your week. Make the first goal learning the movements and returning consistently.
Your future self may want to climb something beautiful.
8. Feed the small ecosystem that lives inside you
Your gut contains trillions of microorganisms.
I like to think of them as roommates. An enormous number of roommates with a very direct interest in what you eat.
Some of those microbes ferment fiber, producing compounds such as butyrate, which helps fuel the cells lining the colon.
You don’t need to memorize the biochemistry to make a useful change.
Beans. Lentils. Oats. Vegetables. Fruit. Whole grains.
A major review published in The Lancet found that higher fiber intake was associated with better health outcomes, while clinical trials found improvements in measures such as cholesterol and blood pressure.
The everyday application is refreshingly unglamorous: eat more fiber-rich foods.
I like this habit because it gives you something to add.
Add lentils to a meal. Add beans to a salad. Choose oats for breakfast. Include another vegetable at dinner.
Increase fiber gradually, particularly if you currently eat very little. Your roommates will make their opinions known if you get overenthusiastic.
*Start here:* Add one fiber-rich food to your next meal.
9. Ask what you need before automatically reaching for something
For years, I’ve said that much of what we pursue is really about how we hope to feel.
We want success, and we imagine freedom.
We want a relationship, and we imagine connection.
We want to finish the project, and we imagine the relief of finally exhaling.
That’s why I find this question so useful:
*What state am I craving right now?*
Focus? Calm? Joy? Connection? Rest?
Naming it creates a moment of choice.
If you need rest, another coffee may postpone the conversation your body is trying to have with you.
If you need connection, scrolling through other people’s lives may leave you wanting more.
If you need calm, three minutes of slower breathing or a short walk might be a useful place to begin.
This interest in how we feel also informed Mindvalley States, our supplement range developed with nutritional biochemist Shawn Wells. I’m the founder of Mindvalley, so that is a product I have a commercial interest in.
But the ritual I want to share here requires no purchase.
It begins with noticing.
Look for patterns in your energy and mood. What happens after a poor night’s sleep? After several hours without moving? After a good conversation?
You’re gathering information about your own life.
*Start here:* The next time your energy drops, pause and name what you need before deciding what to do.
10. End the day on your own side
This is the bathroom-mirror ritual.
Before bed, around the time you brush your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror.
Choose one eye. Hold your own gaze for a moment.
Say:
“I’m enough.”
Yes, it can feel awkward.
You may want to laugh. You may want to look away. You may immediately hear a voice listing all the things you didn’t accomplish today.
Notice that voice.
Marisa Peer has spoken at Mindvalley events about how deeply the belief “I am not enough” can shape our lives.
I recognize that pattern. For years, achievement was tangled up with a desire to prove something about myself.
Build more. Accomplish more. Become more.
There’s nothing wrong with ambition. I still have plenty of it. But it feels different when every unfinished task stops being evidence against your worth.
After “I’m enough,” ask yourself two questions:
What am I grateful for today?
What did I appreciate about myself today?
Keep the answers small and true.
You had a good conversation. Someone made you laugh. You have a comfortable bed.
You kept a promise. You apologized. You were patient when it would have been easier to be sharp.
Perhaps it was a difficult day, and you’re grateful you got through it.
That counts.
This ritual doesn’t require you to pretend everything is wonderful. It gives you a chance to acknowledge what was good and meet yourself with a little kindness before sleep.
*Start here:* Tonight, say “I’m enough.” Then name one thing you’re grateful for and one thing you appreciated about yourself.
Choose one small act of devotion
There’s a trap hidden in an article like this.
You can finish reading and turn ten helpful ideas into ten new ways to judge yourself.
Please don’t.
Choose the ritual that meets a real need in your life right now.
If you’re isolated, arrange the lunch.
If you’ve stopped learning, protect twenty minutes.
If you’re constantly pushing through exhaustion, make room for rest.
If you’ve spent years being unkind to yourself, start at the mirror.
Make the action small enough to repeat. Attach it to something that already happens in your day. Give it time to become familiar before adding more.
And when you miss a day, return.
There’s no need to transform a missed workout into a verdict on your character.
What I love about these rituals is how ordinary they are. They bring personal growth into the places where life actually happens: the kitchen, the calendar, the lunch table, the bathroom before bed.
Over time, those small acts become a way of saying:
My body deserves care.
My relationships deserve time.
My mind deserves room to grow.
And I deserve kindness while I’m learning.
You don’t need to wait for January to begin living that way.
Tonight is available.
Every ritual here comes from something I’ve learned from the teachers at Mindvalley. Marisa Peer. Lorenzo Delano. Radha Agrawal. Ronan Diego. Jim Kwik.
And before we open Black Friday to the world, I wanted you to have it first.
You can get 60% off Mindvalley Membership, our best offer of the year.
When you join during this early access, you’ll unlock:
- Unlimited access to every quest, livestream and summit, including 10X Fitness, Beyond Fasting and Build Your Dream Community
- The 6 Phase Meditation and a full library of tools for lifelong growth
- Priority invitations to live events and in-person transformational experiences
- Membership Rewards: special gifts, discounts and surprises just for members
- Connection to the world’s largest community of conscious achievers
You don’t need a new you in January. You just need a place to begin.
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Something New For Your Mornings 🖤
I’ve curated and am working with 80 world-class hypnotherapists, authors and sound healers to create something that makes every morning a little more special for you.
If you’re a Mindvalley member, it’s free as part of your Mindvalley membership.
If you’re not, you can get it at a Black Friday special for under $49.
It’s on a waitlist right now. Go check it out and join, so you’re the first to know when it opens.
With love,
P.S. Leave a comment on this blog which one you’re starting with. I’d love to know.
