Response:

Losing someone so dear can leave a deep and lasting impact on our lives.

It is clear that you have been doing a lot of inner work and have been seeking guidance through books on spirituality, healing, and Buddhism. 

While we can find comfort and wisdom in the teachings of others, the journey towards healing and fulfillment ultimately lies within us.

It is important to acknowledge that healing is not a linear process, but rather a journey filled with ups and downs. 

Grieving is a natural and important part of this journey, and it is okay to take all the time you need.

In terms of practical solutions, have you considered seeking support through therapy or speaking with a grief counselor? 

They can offer guidance and tools that may help in your healing process.

With a little counseling help, you should be able to move forward with a fulfilling life that honors the loving memory of your mother’s life.

Love,

Deepak