Response:

Your life plan is your plan, not God’s. 

So when you finally move ahead with it, it will be determined by when you can overcome your fear of taking responsibility for your actions. 

It is not about using your willpower to postpone God’s fate for you as long as you can. 

I find it fascinating that you noticed an orchestration of events that are bringing your life out of an aimless, passionless limbo into a purposeful life path, and yet you see this as something that is opposed to your will. 

It seems to me this is more a matter of finding your courage and will and using those gifts lovingly and responsibly.

Love,

Deepak